"What is this, Dzogvi?"I asked. "Taking up music?"

"No,"he said. "I am tapping into the Cosmic Sound Current, the Sacred Holy Infinite Tones of the Ineffable. What I am doing  here is the Mano-Flute Mudra, which is called the Mano-Flute Mudra because the sound is produced by the vibrations of my Soul-Breath across the SacredHoly Interior Territory of my two Prayerful Hands."

"Sort of like a Cosmic Communications Carrier Wave to Nirvana?'I asked. 'Sounds to me like a love-sick turtle-dove coo-ing."

"Do not scoff at what you do not understand, Pisant",  he admonished.  "All us Maharishi-type Gurus prescribe Cosmic-Sound Reception and Production as part of Meditation. If you listen correctly, that is,  as I prescribe,  you will be able to produce the Sound which is guaranteed to grab the attention of the Sacred Holy Itinerant Tourist who-is-always-with-us, or whatever spirit-type being is lurking around. "

"And how, pray, tell, is that?" I asked.

"Well, you find a quiet place; you sit relaxed, concentrate your mind on your unconscious; and listen. If your hands, heart,  lungs,  and earbones are appropriately configured, you will hear IT."

 "Here, " he continued, "I'll show you how to do the Praying Hands Mudra."

With that, he showed me how to fold my left hand into a right-angle with the middle and ring fingers above and the index and little fingers below, with the left thumb slightly bent over the first index finger joint. He then directed me to place my right palm heel against the left palm heel, grasping the four fingers of the left hand with the right thumb even with and paralell to the left thumb. This left a hollow space between my palms with a small opening between my two thumbs like the blow-hole of a flute.

"Now,"he said, " blow across the opening as if you were blowing across the mouth of a beer bottle."

To my amazement I could feel a vibration in my hands; and soon I could also produce the low flute-like mellow sound that Dzogvi had been making. It was sort of like an ocarina or a mellow recorder.

"I have just whomped up  a Revelation" Dzogvi said. " The Sound of Two Hands Praying shall become a Standard Ritual of my new religion. Listen: OMMMMMMMMMM,"  Dzogvi mouthed in his deepest basso-profundo voice. as he blew across his thumbs, "It is The sound of of the Music of the Spheres, the Song of God, the Cosmic Soul-sound., the 
Sacred Holy Infinite Tone."

"Is that what God sounds like?" I asked. OOMMMMMMMM?"

"That is what I sound like when I try to sound like God," he said.
" All us Cod-conscious Maharishi-type gurus have to prescribe the use of Mantra Yoga. It is de rigour for any meditation that is worth the bacon. You have to mouth syllables like AUM, SoHam, Om Nama Shivaya, Hram, Hrim or words with a lot of OM, ONK, or  other buzzing sounds. There is something in the buzz of your vocal cords that gets the attention of Goddelmyty and causes Him to drop whatever He is doing and listen to you. It is the buzz that does, so to chant."

"You lost me, Dzogvi, " I said. "Are we taking INPUT here, or OUTPUT?"

" Both,"  Dzogvi said.  "You sit and make buzzing sounds with your vocal cords while you Send your Soul Breath into your Praying Hands and this tunes your unconscious sonic receptor bones to resonate with the Sacred Holy Infinite Tones of the Cosmos."

"Okay,"I said. "Assuming that there is something In what you say, what does it get me?"

"Well, while you are sitting on your backside trying to Trancendentalize your Soul, you get a warm, fuzzy feeling that you are IN THE PRESENCE OF  THE 
SACRED HOLY ITINERANT TOURIST. On the other hand, as your Prescribing Guru, I get your devotion and gratitude. The truth is, there is no Cosmic Sound Current. It is a Upaya whomped up by us gurus to provide busy-work for aspiring sycophants so that they seem to be DOing something while they sit there focussing on not focussing."

"You may be on to something,"I admitted. "Most people can't tolerate prolonged silence. They need, they crave something to rattle their ear-bones constantly so they can know they're not dead."

"You get it, "Dzogvi said. " The OMMMMMMMM-type chant is essentially a sonic placebo whomped up by  undernourished maharishi-types who feel pressure to deliver SOMETHING.  I have improved it with my Sacred Holy Interior Tone produced on the Praying Hands.   Anyhow, its free, So I can afford to prescribe it freely."

"Well, it does rattle my ear bones," I admitted.  "You think this praying sound would attract turtle-doves?"

"I will seek further revelation from Ascaridius," Dzogvi said, solemnly.