"Okay, 'I said, "what about the names of the sub-gods who are supposed to hold the exclusive franchises on Spiritual Tourism in these Planes" I asked. " You can't just let the new initiates wander around the Spiritual Real-estate leaving their dirty thought-prints all over everything."

"You forgot that the initiate must have his Auro-Karmic Cleansing Ticket punched first, " Dzogvi said. " There will be no lop-sided Auras or Spotted Karmas to be concerned about."

" But you still have to Appoint the Sub-gods to whom you will issue the Franchises." I said.

"Well, " Dzogvi said, " I could use the Five Holy Names of God. A lot of the Hindu competition does that."

"You have a preliminary problem, " I observed. "Their Spiritual Real-Estate Office has only five floors. They call them the Astral, Causal, Mental, Etheric and Soul floors; and the initiate is required to mentally repeat the name of the landlord without saying anything. The idea is to use the mind to focus the mind on His Name and Address so as to get his attention. If the initiate twiddles his tongue just right and does not think of any alligators he might be able to find the elevator to the next floor."

"Curiouser and curiouser, " Dzogvi said. " But I thought that the floors were in the head of the twiddler just above the eyeballs."

"That may be, " I conceded. "in my experience, it's kind of hard to see anything above the eyeballs from the inside. "

"It's a package deal, " Dzogvi said. " You're supposed to twiddle your tongue or vocal cords around the Secret Words until you find one that strikes a buzz, and then repeat it over and over while you stare with your eyeballs covered into the blackness in front of you."

"HOO!" I said, " no diss intended. When I close my eyes I see spots and floaters and now and then a banana-shaped light going around clock-wise. I also see a blue odd shape where I got hit in the eye with a rock once.   And, "   I asked,  " How am I going to find the elevator in my skull if I have my eyeballs blacked out? Especially if all my attention is focused on repeating the names of the subGods you haven't even appointed yet? "

" Maybe I will just call them ordinary names." Dzogvi suggested.  " Alice and Astral go together real good. I will give Causal to Charley, Millie to Mental, Etheric to Ethel, and Soul to Sister Soulja."

"Not smart, Dzogvi, " I said. "SubGods with names like Alice, Charley, Millie, Ethel, and Sister Soulja are not going to inspire a whole lot of Awe, Respect, Adoration or just plain credibility. You have got to have names that are Mystical, Magical, and Memorable. Would YOU address a prayer to Alice-Who-Art in-Heaven?

" I think I will have to have a vision and revelation on this, " Dzogvi said.