Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2000 TENNESSEE EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the STATE of TENNESSEE.

If you have one of these, you may need help understanding

the commands. The TENNESSEE EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2000, with a background picture of Willie Nelson superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Please also note:

   The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
   My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
   Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
   Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
   Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
   Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
   Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up

   CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TENNESSEE EDITION:
   Cancel............stopdat
   Reset.............try'er agin
   Yes...............yep
   No................nope
   Find..............hunt fer it
   Go to.............over yonder
   Back..............back yonder
   Help..............hep me out here
   Stop..............kwitit (WHOA!)
   Start.............crank'er up
   Settings..........settins
   Programs......... stuff at duz stuff
   Documents....... .stuff ah done did

Also note that the TENNESSEE EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2000:

  Tiperiter.................... .a word processing program
  Colerin' Book.................a graphics program
  Cyferin' Mersheen.............calculator
  Outhouse Paper................notepad
  Inner-net.....................Micro soft explorer 5.0
  Pitchers..................... .a graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you received a copy of the TENNESSEE EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.