Please read the Disclaimer before continuing to remain in the site or reading the stories. These stories contain adult material with scenes of women loving women. Consider this story to have an R rating. If this is illegal in your state or you are underage, please go to a more appropriate site now.

Disclaimer: I don't own any Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters. No copyright infringement is intended. Original characters are mine.

Pairing: W/T... eventually

Angst Rating: Highest rating... buy stock in Kleenex

Rating: PG 13 for adult themes and eventual W/T goodness.

lcountry@quiknet.com

CHAPTER NINE

"Can you save her?" Tara asked calmly. "Our daughter?" She took a deep breath and slowly released it before continuing. "Could my energy sustain her?"

"Let’s not get ahead of ourselves," Diana interrupted. "Let’s do the ultrasound, see how the baby is progressing, and then go from there."

Buffy had her arm around Willow’s shoulder, offering support to the redhead, as well as steadying herself. "Is this death thing you see a definite thing?" She looked over at Cassie. "Or is it like a prophecy? Cuz I’ve dealt with prophecies, and they aren’t set in stone."

"It’s not set in stone," Cassie said quietly. "But the future I see right now is shrouded in loss. There’s a specter of darkness hovering over the child."

"I don’t w-want to hear any more about death or specters or h-hovering." Tara stood and wrapped her arms over her chest. She rubbed her arms as if to warm her terrified soul. "Unless y-you have proof, I don’t w-want any more of this." She waved her hand at Cassie.

Willow climbed off the couch and went to Tara. She stood close to her and spooned her from behind and tried to warm her chilled frame. "We beat prophecies all the time," she whispered in Tara’s ear.

Diana cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. Once she had it, she spoke. "You shouldn’t focus on what Cassie sees. Right now, the fetus is very vulnerable to the world. Cassie could be seeing the possible threats like Tara getting the flu, or measles. The important thing is to be cautious, but stay calm." She eyed Willow. "And stay away from dark magic of any kind. Is that clear?"

Willow nodded nervously.

"Can w-we do the ultrasound now?" Tara leaned back into Willow’s embrace. She needed to feel the other witch’s presence; it was like a breath of air after swimming up from the depths of the seas without oxygen. Their bodies molded together, grounding them both and soothing their battered hearts.

"Are you two a couple?" Cassie asked. She moved around the desk and stared at the two witches.

"Not exactly," Willow said angrily. She didn’t like having that particular fact tossed into her face. "But we love each other." Tara squeezed closer and Willow tightened her grip.

"The darkness around Tara and the baby faded when you went to her." Cassie turned to Diana. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"I thought you were this all powerful, kick ass seer?" Buffy challenged. "Can’t you … oh, I don’t know … see?"

"Let’s do the ultrasound," Diana interrupted before the scene could get any uglier. "I’ll brief you later."

Cassie nodded and went into the hall. The others trailed along behind the seer and went to a small room with an ultrasound machine. After Tara was on the table, Cassie turned the lights down low and ran a small probe over the blonde witch’s belly. A lump was clearly visible, though at the early stage of the pregnancy, all they could see were the tiny flutters of her newly formed heart and a baby-like formation with the nubs that would later become arms and legs.

"That’s our baby?" Willow stared at the screen in awe. "Look how fast her little heart is beating. Is that normal?"

"That doesn’t look like a baby." Buffy almost panicked. "That … that looks squishy and kinda’ monstery."

"She’s perfectly healthy," Cassie said with a smile. "You won’t make out a recognizable baby for a while yet." She moved the small probe back and forth over Tara’s belly to get a better look. "Her heart is perfect, no signs of anything out of the ordinary." She glanced over at Diana. "The placenta looks well formed."

Tara hadn’t said a word. Her eyes were locked on the tiny monitor.

"You’re sure her heart’s supposed to do that?" Willow asked. She had one of Tara’s hands in hers and she was straining to get closer to the screen.

"A fetus’ heart rate is supposed to be fast. Here, let’s try the Doppler." Cassie reached over and brought another instrument to Tara’s belly. She leaned over the table and turned the volume up and they could hear sound of the baby’s heart. It was muted, and fast, and it sounded like rushing pulses of water, but the presence of life was undeniable.

Tara closed her eyes and listened. A tear ran down her cheek and she squeezed Willow’s hand.

"You’re hurting her," Willow said as soon as she saw that Tara was crying. "Don’t push so hard!"

"I’m fine," Tara said quietly. She opened her eyes and smiled at Willow. Her entire face lit up and her eyes mirrored the joy in her soul.

"Honey?" The beauty of Tara’s smile stunned Willow. She stared at her former lover and fell in love all over again.

"We did that," Tara said in a hoarse whisper. "Our love did that." Her blue eyes locked with Willow’s green. She tugged the redhead closer and then reached up and caressed her cheek.

"I love you," Willow whispered. She leaned down and awkwardly hugged Tara, trying not to get in Cassie’s way. She hadn’t known if she should hug Tara, but her heart demanded it.

"I do love you, darling," Tara replied. She squeezed Willow closer and closed her eyes. She inhaled the scent of her ex-lover and let out a contented sigh. She missed Willow so much it made her chest ache and her throat clench. She wanted to let go of her doubts, but fear warred with her heart. At the moment, her heart dominated the battlefield, so she snuggled into Willow’s embrace.

Buffy smiled from her place behind Cassie. ‘Guess Anya’s sexual radar was right on target,’ she thought with a satisfied smirk. ‘Oh, yeah, they are so gonna’ make love tonight.’

*****

The rest of the checkup went smoothly. The fetus looked healthy and strong, and Diana insisted that Tara’s dizziness would go away once she improved her diet. The doctor downplayed any concerns based strictly on Cassie’s mystic impressions of the child’s aura, but she did urge caution. She sent Tara home with an appointment in two weeks, and a bag full of prenatal vitamins.

"So it’s all okay? All is good in witchy-baby-ville?" Xander was bursting with happiness when he heard the good news. "I say we celebrate! I am payday-man, and I will take healthy-mommy-woman anywhere she wants for dinner."

"You got paid last week, honey." Anya smiled and patted Xander’s arm. "But strangely enough, I’m in the mood to spent your hard earned cash on Tara."

"And Willow." Buffy was walking next to her best friend. She draped an arm around the shell-shocked redhead and shook her playfully. "Tara didn’t do this on her own."

"She just has to be okay." Willow stared at a printout of the fetus. Her eyes had the telltale wrinkles at the edges that signaled the young witch was worried.

"She’ll be fine. Better than fine." Tara smiled and pulled the image closer so she could look at the fetus. "I can’t tell if she looks like me or you," she joked. "I mean, neither of us has nubs." She wiggled her fingers in front of Willow.

"You have pictures?" Anya abandoned Xander and went to Tara’s side. "Oh, my god! That’s an Akathaso demon!" She gripped the paper, wrinkling it. "They usually inhabit trees, but that’s definitely one."

Tara’s eyes widened, while Willow’s narrowed dangerously.

"That’s an Akathaso demon all right. It looks just like I remember." Anya frowned. "Well, except they have fur, and their nubs and aren’t quite so nubby, but…" She turned the paper sideways. "Well, it might not be an Akathaso, but it’s not human."

"It’s perfectly normal!" Willow yanked the paper away from Anya and began smoothing it. "That’s what a fetus looks like. In fact, she’s above average."

"Are you sure?" Anya asked as she looked down at Tara’s belly.

"Yes." Tara nodded and scooted closer to Willow.

"Well, okay, if you say so." Anya went back to Xander’s side. "That child’s hideous," she whispered. "How could two such beautiful women have such a repulsive baby?"

Tara and Willow gave Anya matching glares.

"It’s not done cooking yet," Xander said with a smile. "I’m sure Cletus will be a heart breakin’ hottie as soon as she’s born."

"Cletus?" Anya asked.

"Yeah, Cletus the fetus." Xander smiled charmingly.

"Xander Harris, you will not call my child Cletus." Willow’s eyes flashed. "I forbid it."

"Hey there, Cletus." Buffy leaned down and waved at Tara’s belly. "How are those nubs hangin’?"

"Oh, goddess." Tara sighed and rested her forehead on Willow’s shoulder.

"They’re kidding," Willow said as she turned and embraced Tara. She smiled, enjoying the closeness. "And they’re gonna’ stop right now." She glared at her friends over Tara’s shoulder.

"Cletus the fetus. I like it," Anya decreed.

"It has a ring to it," Buffy joined in, but she was concerned by what she saw. Tara seemed to be calling all the shots. Tara would reach out to Willow, but the blonde witch seemed to shy away when Willow tried to do the same. She pushed aside her concern and went back to full tease mode. "I declare this to be ‘Cletus the fetus day.’ So there."

Xander smiled triumphantly.

"Think Diana would mind if I turned them all into toads?" Tara asked as she eased out of Willow’s arms. She raised one eyebrow and glanced at her laughing friends.

"She’d probably help us," Willow said with a wink.

"Come on. Xander’s buying and I’m starved." Tara took Willow’s hand and led her down the street toward the car.

Willow followed mutely. A goofy grin covered her face and she kept looking down at her hand in Tara’s. She didn’t even mind Xander nicknaming the baby Cletus if it meant Tara was gonna’ hold her hand. She sighed and happily accompanied Tara on the short walk.

Buffy’s concern for Willow grew. If Tara backed away from the fragile redhead, there was no telling what would happen, and Buffy didn’t want to see Willow end up with Rack again.

*****

Amy stood in front of Rack and sobbed. "I swear, I don’t know anything else about her." Her nose was dripping blood from both nostrils and she could barely stand.

"She’s got power," Rack said as he shoved Amy onto the couch.

"She’s just a witch. Willow’s way stronger." She crumpled into the cushions and didn’t even try to get up.

"You fool." Rack spun and paced his small room. "Willow can tap dark magic, but the other one, she’s brimming over with power, real power." He spun and grabbed Amy and yanked her to her feet. "Who’s the father?"

"I don’t know." Amy winced and tried to back away. She’d had all of Rack’s abuse that she could take. "You’re hurting me," she cried.

"I want you to find out." Rack tossed Amy away from him and then levitated her into the air. He sent bursts of dark magic into her body and she shuddered as her eyes rolled back into her head.

"How? Tara will kill me if I go near Willow again." A slow smile spread over her features. Her eyes went coal black and she tingled from his infusion of dark magic. She moaned sensually as he continued feeding her habit.

"That’s not my problem," Rack said with a merciless laugh. "Find out who the father is." He moved closer. "I want him to take his bitch back so Strawberry will come home to me."

"What if there is no father?" Amy asked drowsily. Her head lolled to one side as she hovered a few feet above him. "They’re powerful witches in love," she mumbled. "They could have a kid without a man," she rattled on.

"Find out!" he bellowed. His face twisted as rage rushed through him. He yanked his hand to his side and cut off Amy’s supply.

"Ouch," Amy mumbled as she hit the floor. She looked up at him and smiled. "I’ve fallen and I can’t get up." She giggled and rolled onto her back and stared up at the water stains on the ceiling. "Oh, pretty," she said in a daze.

"Find out about the child." Rack pressed his knee onto Amy’s chest. She squirmed as he pushed the air out of her lungs and then he shifted his weight so she couldn’t take in another breath. "Go back to the shop and find out everything you can." He smiled as she fought to breathe. "Don’t disappoint me again, Amy." He pressed more of his weight onto her chest.

Her eyes watered as she struggled to breathe. She couldn’t move, and her chest ached as her oxygen starved lungs felt like they would burst.

"Get out of here." He stood and walked out of the room.

Amy rolled onto her side and gasped. She coughed as air hit her lungs. After a few minutes, she crawled to her feet and stumbled out of Rack’s building into the cold night air. Her chest throbbed, and she wondered if he’d broken a rib. Certainly he’d do worse than that if she failed him again. She took a slow breath and began working on a plan.

*****

Tara walked out of the Chinese restaurant with a satisfied smile. She had personally managed to put quite a dent in ‘payday-man’s’ wallet. She watched Willow over by the car. The redhead smacked Xander’s arm. She could tell by Willow’s frustrated glare and Xander’s unrepentant smirk what was being said.

"Her name is not Cletus," Tara called out to the roughhousing friends.

"I’ve never seen Willow this excited," Buffy said from Tara’s side.

Tara smiled and looked over at the Slayer.

"Tara, I know you’ve been through a lot, but can I ask something, as a friend?" Buffy asked seriously. She was momentarily distracted when she saw Dawn jump on Xander’s back. She smiled and shook her head. "He’s not gonna’ stop the whole Cletus thing, you know that, right?"

Tara smiled as she watched her ex-lover playfully swat Xander. Even Anya had joined in the assault. She grabbed his wallet while he was distracted and took all the cash.

"Tara?" Buffy asked, pulling the young witch out of her silence.

"What did you need, Buffy?" Tara smiled warmly at the Slayer.

"Look, I know Willow did some awful things, and you have every right to be angry, heck, pissed, but well, Tara…" Now that she was actually asking, the Slayer faltered.

Tara waited for Buffy to gather her thoughts. She figured the Slayer was going to ask her to forgive Willow, which she’d already done.

"Please, Tara, don’t hurt her," Buffy asked quietly.

It was the last thing Tara expected. Her brow furrowed and she opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out.

"Tara, she’s fragile right now." Buffy sighed. "If you’re gonna’ forgive her, then forgive her and get with the moving on. Don’t keep doing the ‘push-me-pull-you’ deal. It’s tearing her up."

"W-what are you talking about?" Tara was genuinely confused. She knew her own feelings were muddled, but she thought she’d been clear with Willow.

"You, with the hand holding, bed sharing, hugging, but we’re not back together thing." Buffy wrung her hands together. "You’re acting like you’re her girlfriend, but as soon as she does the same thing, you get all ‘don’t rush me’ on her."

"Did s-she tell you that?" Tara asked angrily.

"No. God, no." Buffy took Tara’s hand and squeezed it. "She didn’t say a word. Tara, I have eyes. I see how much she wants you back. She’ll do anything for you."

"You t-think I’m leading her on?" Tara asked flatly.

"No," Buffy said sadly. "I think you don’t have any clue what you’re doing." She smiled disarmingly. "I think you want her back, but you’re scared …which you have every right to be."

"Just w-what do you think I s-should do?" Tara asked. There was a bitter edge to her tone that caught Buffy off guard. "Forget everything? Buffy, she could relapse."

"I know that." Buffy looked over to the car to make sure Willow was still busy. She was now chasing Xander around the car. Willow was armed with the leftovers, but he didn’t seem worried. "I’m just saying, maybe if you’re not sure about you guys, you shouldn’t give her false hope," Buffy said gently.

"You think she’ll relapse if I hurt her," Tara said dejectedly. "And you think I’m leading her on."

"She’s trying really hard." Buffy sighed. "I’d like to hope she’s strong enough, but losing you the first time almost killed her."

"You think it didn’t kill me?" Tara’s ire flashed. "Everyone’s so worried about Willow. Did you ever wonder what it did to me? How I felt when she chose magic over me?" Her voice raised as hormones pushed her anger higher. "Sure, she’s clean now, but what happens in a month, when my guard is down and we have a fight? I don’t want my mind wiped like a chalkboard every time I have an independent thought."

"Tara, calm down." Buffy reached for her arm. She looked over at the car. Willow was frozen in place and watching Tara. "I’m just trying to say—"

"Screw you, Buffy." Tara spun and walked down the darkened street.

"Huh?" Buffy stared in disbelief. "Okay, what just happened here?"

"Buffy! What did you say to her?" Willow ran toward the Slayer. "Tara?" she yelled as she passed Buffy and continued after the blonde witch.

"I didn’t…" Buffy shrugged.

"You made a pregnant woman yell," Anya accused. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she thought about that. "Which, given the raging hormones, isn’t all that hard." She smiled and patted Buffy’s arm to offer support. "But shouldn’t you go after her? I mean, Sunnydale, tasty pregnant woman wandering the streets…"

"Damn it!" Buffy ran after her friends.

Across the street in an alley, Amy smiled. She had a small black crystal in her hand and it glowed as she manipulated Tara’s emotions. "Like shooting fish in a barrel," she whispered. She snuck out of the alley and made her way along the street. She had to have Tara in her direct line of sight for the spell to work.

Willow caught up with Tara around the corner. "Tara, wait," she called out.

"Why?" Tara spun and faced her ex-lover; she looked at Willow and all she saw was pain and betrayal.

"What happened?" Willow asked gently.

"Why don’t you just erase my memories, then I’ll be your loving lap dog." Tara’s eyes narrowed.

"Tara, something’s wrong." She edged closer. "You’re not acting like yourself."

Buffy sprinted around the corner and slammed into Willow. "Yow!" she said as she watched Willow fly into parked car. "Sorry," she said contritely.

"Willow!" Tara’s anger was washed away by concern. She ran to her fallen love’s side and tried help her stand. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Willow said grumpily. She sighed and rubbed her elbow. "Stupid Slayer powers."

"I’m so sorry," Buffy continued.

"You’re bleeding." Tara poked a tiny hole at the elbow of Willow’s shirt. There was a matching gash underneath.

"I don’t care." Willow took Tara’s hand. "What happened? Tara, you totally lost your temper. That’s not like you."

"I don’t know," the blonde said honestly. "I mean, I was upset when Buffy and I were talking, but then I just got so angry."

"What did you say to her?" Willow asked harshly. The redhead was in protective mode.

"I just…" Buffy shifted her weight from foot to foot.

"Nothing," Tara interrupted. "We were just talking." She rubbed her forehead. "I don’t feel very well," she added.

"Let me help you." Willow wrapped her arm around Tara. The blonde witch accepted the embrace and even leaned into it. "You don’t mind me helping, do you?" Willow asked as an afterthought.

"Will, I love you." Tara rolled her eyes and left a kiss on Willow’s cheek. "You don’t have to ask to touch me." She glanced over at Buffy and smiled. ‘Thank you,’ she mouthed silently. She realized that Willow had been walking on eggshells around her, and she didn’t like it.

"Oh, well…" Willow smiled brightly and waggled her eyebrow. "Yippee," she whispered.

Buffy smiled and nodded her approval. She walked alongside the two witches as they made their way back to the restaurant.

Xander was making his way down the street in search of his missing friends. He had left Anya and Dawn inside the restaurant and was now worriedly hunting for the others. Xander was naturally protective of his friends, but Tara’s pregnancy had awakened an even more primal need to defend her. He hurried down the street and then froze when he saw a familiar figure crouched behind a car.

"Amy," he whispered dangerously. As he stealthily crept toward her, he wondered if the ‘don’t hit a girl’ rule applied to witches who messed with his friends.

Buffy and the two witches rounded the corner and Amy shifted her position. She gripped the crystal and aimed one hand at Tara.

"What’cha doing?" Xander asked loudly.

Amy squealed as she jumped to her feet and spun to face him.

"What are you doing here?" Tara’s eyes narrowed and she balled her hands into fists.

"Nothing," Amy lied.

"She’s got a glowing rock thing," Xander said casually. He glared at Amy, and his eyes never left her hands. "Look out!" he yelled when Amy quickly raised her hand toward the others.

A bolt of energy shot out. Willow pushed Tara out of the way and raised her hands in front of her as the energy exploded on the wall behind her. Her eyes went black, but just as she was about to utter a spell, and clenched her hands and backed up.

"Willow, get down." Buffy yanked Willow out of the way and shoved her into Tara’s arms.

Xander punched Amy in the jaw. She stumbled a few steps away and turned to face him as the crystal bounced along the pavement.

"You hit me!" she said indignantly. "I’m a girl," she insisted.

"With a surprisingly hard jaw." He rubbed his knuckles.

Amy saw Buffy running toward her and knew she’d lost. She closed her eyes and disappeared in a shimmer of light.

"Are y-you okay?" Tara asked. She turned Willow in her arms and gasped in shock. "No," she said as she yanked away from Willow and backed up, shaking her head. "Oh, goddess, no."

"I didn’t cast." Willow was taking deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves. Her eyes were completely black, and she couldn’t get them to shift back to normal. She saw fear in Tara’s eyes. "I didn’t cast. I didn’t do any spells," she swore.

"It w-was your first reaction," Tara accused. She shivered as she took another step away from Willow. "You haven’t changed," she said in a wounded whisper.

"Tara, your life was in danger," Willow said. "I reacted. It was a reflex, but I stopped myself from casting." She edged closer to her former lover.

Tara bumped into a car and flinched.

"Hang on." Buffy took her friend’s arm and moved her away from Tara. "Willow, your eyes are still all icky."

Willow closed her eyes and rubbed her hands over her face. She inhaled slowly and held the breath as she sent out a plea to the goddess to help cleanse her misguided soul. She blew out the breath and moved her hands.

"Buffy?" Willow asked as she opened her eyes. She raised her eyebrows and leaned forward.

"Better," Buffy said with a smile.

"Tara?" Willow turned toward the blonde witch.

"Just don’t," Tara said wearily. "I can’t do this."

"I didn’t cast," Willow insisted. "Please, Tara, the dark magic is still inside me. You told me it would take a long time before it’s purged." She took a tentative step forward. "Baby, please. The magic surfaced, but I fought it." Her tone was desperate and pleading.

"I hate to interrupt, but what is that thing?" Xander pointed at the crystal. "Should we leave it in the street for anyone to pick up?"

Buffy leaned over the stone and frowned. "It’s a black rock."

"Let me see," Tara said as she moved around Willow.

"You shouldn’t go near it." Willow spun and rushed to Tara’s side. She didn’t dare touch the blonde witch after channeling so much dark magic, but she wasn’t going to let her near the dangerous object.

"Well, I guess I know why I was such a bitch to you, Buffy." Tara studied the dark stone on the pavement.

"What is it?" Willow asked.

"It’s a PMS rock, isn’t it?" Xander asked. "It summons the PMS demons!"

"Xander!" Buffy glared at him, then her eyes shot open wide and she spun toward Tara. "It isn’t, is it?"

"No." Tara rolled her eyes.

"Then what is it?" Willow edged closer.

"Do you know what an emerald does?" Tara asked her former lover.

"Um, well, I didn’t know there was gonna’ be a test." The redhead frowned and bit her lip. "Oh, wait. Emeralds enhance loyalty and sensitivity and they promote domestic bliss." She looked to Tara expectantly. "Right?"

"Yeah." Tara allowed a tiny smile. She was proud that Willow had kept up on her studies of the mystical uses for stones.

"Emeralds, as in emerald green." Buffy pointed at the stone. "That is black. Why are you asking about pretty emeralds?"

"It’s a raven’s emerald." Tara backed away from the stone. "It does the opposite of an emerald."

"So, instead of promoting domestic bliss, it causes trouble?" Willow glared at the stone. "How do we get rid of it?"

"I’m not touching it." Xander scurried over to Buffy and hid behind her. "I don’t need any help screwing things up with Anya. You’re the Slayer. Do something."

"It can’t hurt you," Tara promised. "It’s a focusing stone. It creates strife, but there has to be an outside power source."

"Like Amy?" Buffy asked. She narrowed her eyes. "I liked her better as a rat."

"Me too." Tara sighed and rubbed the bandage on her head. "Can we go home?"

"Sure," Buffy said. She reached down to pick up the stone and paused. "You’re sure it can’t make my already crappy domestic life even crappier?"

"Yeah." Tara yawned. "It’s just a stone now."

Buffy scowled and picked up the stone and slipped it into her pocket. She nodded down the street. "Okay, let’s get Tara home." She glared at the blonde witch. "And by home, I mean our house. You are now officially living with us again."

Willow nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay." Tara wasn’t going to argue. She didn’t want to be alone and she didn’t like the idea of Amy lurking in the shadows messing with Willow.

*****

Tara went upstairs as soon as they got home. She slumped onto the bed and let out a long sigh. She groaned and flopped onto her side and burrowed into the pillow. She didn’t even bother to get under the covers before she closed her eyes and pulled her feet onto the bed.

"Your shoes are still on," Willow said from the door.

Tara groaned and kicked half-heartedly.

The redhead smiled fondly and came into the room. She went to Tara’s side and removed her shoes. "You want under the covers?"

Tara shook her head.

Willow grabbed a blanket from the closet and covered Tara. "I’ll be sleeping on the couch," she said as she backed away from the bed.

"Willow?" Tara didn’t open her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"I’m sorry I got so angry with you earlier." She opened her eyes and twisted so she could see her ex-lover. "I know you did really well. The magic was right there and you didn’t use it." The corner of her lip lifted into a tiny half grin. "You did good."

"I scared you," Willow said quietly. "It doesn’t feel very good."

"You fought it." Tara yawned. "That’s good."

"You should sleep." Willow edged closer.

"It’s early." Tara yawned again.

"Call it a nap." Willow smiled and scooted closer until she was at the edge of the bed. She took a deep breath and gathered her courage. "I’ll check on you later." She reached down and ran her hand through Tara’s hair.

"Okay." The blonde closed her eyes and murmured. "Willow?"

"Yeah?" the redhead asked. She combed her fingers through Tara’s blonde strands.

"Come back up before bed. You need another cleansing." Tara rubbed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"O-kay." Willow backed up. "Sweet dreams." She crept out of the room and closed the door. ‘Another cleansing,’ she thought as she leaned against the wall. ‘Me and Tara naked in the shower?’ She smiled. ‘Of course naked, doofus,’ she thought with a smirk. ‘Can’t really shower clothed. So how do I ‘not rush’ when I get into the shower with her tonight?’

CHAPTER TEN

When Willow came down stairs from tucking Tara in for her nap, she heard voices in the kitchen. She looked around the empty living room and headed toward the sounds of her friends chatting excitedly. ‘Probably telling Dawn about Amy again,’ she thought with a sigh. She’d heard the tale recounted three times on the way home. Thankfully, Buffy and Xander had left out the part about her eyes turning black. Willow wasn’t sure Dawnie would like that. She pushed open the kitchen door and her face lit up.

"Giles!" Willow yelled. She ran toward him and threw her arms around his chest. "Giles, you came!" She felt relief wash through her, even though she knew nothing had really changed.

"Of course I came," he whispered as he gently cradled her in his arms. "Congratulations," he added.

"Thank god you’re here." Willow squeezed him tighter, afraid he’d let her go. He was like a father to her, closer to her than her own father, and he could do something her own father never could. He made her feel safe, and loved, and accepted. He was also an expert on the occult, someone she definitely wanted around to make sure Tara and the baby were safe.

"Maybe we should give them some time to catch up," Buffy suggested.

"We could listen to my new CD." Dawn smiled and bounced on her feet. "Nothing like music fresh from England to get your blood pumping."

"Probably just the British version of an overly cheerful boyband," Buffy joked as she remembered Giles once complaining about Dawn’s taste in music. "Are the boys are chosen for their ability to dance?" she asked sweetly.

Giles rolled his eyes and started to ease away from Willow. She grabbed him like he was the last life raft on the Titanic. "I’m not going anywhere." He relaxed and moved his hand in slow circles on her back.

Willow nodded. She was quietly crying, and she didn’t care who saw.

"Come on, Xander." Anya yanked him to her side. "Let’s go hear Dawn’s new album."

"Welcome back, G-man." Xander nodded at the Watcher and hurried from the room with the others.

"How is Tara?" Giles asked after holding Willow a while longer.

"Fine. A little tired. She’s napping upstairs. She’ll be so happy to see you." Willow smiled and rubbed her face on his chest. Her tears had already dampened the soft fabric.

"How are you?" he asked delicately.

"Not so fine." She finally relaxed her stranglehold and took a step back. "Amy attacked us tonight. I almost did a spell."

"Buffy told me," he said calmly. "But you didn’t."

"I scared Tara." Willow dropped her head shamefully. "With the dark magic eyes."

"Tara’s seen more than most women twice her age." Giles cupped her chin and lifted her face so he could get her full attention. "I dare say it would take a great deal more than that to scare her."

"Giles, she looked at me like I was a monster." A tear slid down her cheek.

"You silly girl," he said affectionately. "She probably just missed the beautiful green eyes she fell in love with."

"Giles!" Willow blushed, but she also smiled shyly. She looked into his soulful eyes for any sign of insincerity. "Do you really think she still loves me, like she used to?"

"More," he promised. "When you get past this bump in your journey, your love will be even stronger. Forged by fire," he added as he wiped the tear from her cheek.

"Thanks." Willow rested her cheek on his shoulder and sighed.

"Is there any chance she’s still awake?" he asked hopefully. "I brought gifts, for the baby."

Willow giggled. "She’s a fetus, Giles. I don’t think she needs gifts yet." She pulled back abruptly with a look of complete horror. "Does she? Oh, goddess! I haven’t gotten her anything yet!"

"Well, the gifts are really for you and Tara," he admitted.

"I have to get Christmas presents for the baby!" She was mortified that she could have forgotten to get her only child a Christmas gift.

"You’re Jewish," Giles said tolerantly.

"Well, Tara’s not!" Willow scowled and then guilt her hit from the opposite direction. "I haven’t gotten her any Hanukkah gifts! That’s seven days of gifts I haven’t gotten. What kind of mother am I? You brought the baby gifts and I didn’t even think about it!"

"Willow, the child is barely more than a collection of cells." Giles tried to get the frantic redhead back on track. "The gifts are in honor of the child, but they are for you and Tara."

"I love presents." Willow looked around the room. Her frenzied concerns fading as she wondered what Giles had for her. "Are they in there?" She eyes locked on his suitcase near the table.

"You’ll have to wait," Giles chastised. "When will Tara be up?"

"Couple hours." Willow’s lips puffed into a determined pout.

"You’re not getting the presents until Tara wakes up." Giles folded his arms over his chest.

"Fine, I can wait." She sighed dramatically. "I’m very patient."

"Of course." Giles smirked and went into the living room to talk with the others.

*****

Two hours later, Willow was prowling like a caged tiger.

"Go check her," Buffy said as she rolled her eyes. "You’re driving me nuts with the pacing."

"I can’t." Willow insisted. "She’s napping." She spun and put both hands on her hips. "Napping because she’s tired. Tired because she’s pregnant."

Xander decided to interrupt. "Pregnant because she and Willow—"

"Xander!" Buffy grabbed him and put a hand over his mouth.

"Isn’t she awake yet?" Giles came out of the kitchen, oblivious to the teasing in progress. He was anxious to see Tara. He wanted to make sure she was safe, to see it with his own eyes.

"Oh, just go wake her up," Anya said as she tossed her hands in the air. She saw Willow’s worried expression. "She’ll want to see Giles. She’s missed him very much since he ran off."

Willow started to argue, but then looked up the stairs uncertainly. "She would want to see Giles…"

"Go," Buffy ordered.

"Okay, but I’m just gonna’ peek in there. If she looks tired, I am not waking her up." She trotted up the stairs.

"She’s pregnant," Anya pointed out as soon as Willow was out of earshot. "She’s gonna’ be tired until she has this kid." She frowned. "Then she’ll be tired from chasing the damn thing. She may be tired for the rest of her life." Panic began setting in. The former demon swallowed as she considered the ramifications of her rant. "We are not having kids," she told Xander. "No way."

Giles rolled his eyes and sat on the couch. Some things never changed.

Willow slowly opened the door and looked over at her bed. A smile came without warning as she studied Tara. The blonde was sleeping on her side, with a pillow hugged tightly to her chest. She was nuzzling the soft fabric and had a relaxed grin on her face.

Willow crept closer, drawn to Tara by the love that still crackled between them like a thunderstorm. She sat on the bed next to Tara and brushed the hair from the blonde’s face.

Tara murmured and twisted her head to be closer to Willow’s touch. "Darling?" Tara whispered in her sleep.

It cut Willow’s heart like a dagger. There was such love in Tara’s voice, but only when she was unguarded and asleep. The blonde wouldn’t let that much need show in her voice while awake. She caressed Tara’s cheek, feeling a pang of guilt for taking such liberties, but she couldn’t resist even if she had wanted to.

"Willowhand." Tara moved her hand up and covered Willow’s. She pressed it to her face and smiled contentedly.

"Tara, baby?" Willow whispered gently. She didn’t want to startle the sleeping blonde.

"Mmm." Tara turned her face and kissed Willow’s palm.

It was too much for the redhead. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, but she didn’t pull her hand away.

"Darling." Tara’s tongue snaked out and teased Willow’s palm.

"Um, Tara?" Willow’s voice cracked as she eased her hand away from Tara’s sleepy, yet amorous advances. "Tara, wake up," she said a bit more steadily.

Tara frowned in her sleep, not happy about the loss of Willowhand. She groaned and tugged the pillow to her chest.

"Tara?" Willow leaned closer and whispered in the blonde’s ear.

Tara smiled sensually and let out a satisfied moan. She loved the way Willow’s hot breath felt against her ear. She climbed toward consciousness feeling the telltale signs of arousal. Her eyes flickered open and she reached out and took Willow’s hand.

"Hey," Tara said sleepily. She pulled Willow’s hand to her chest and held it to her body.

"Sorry to wake you." Willow decided to ignore Tara’s quasi- advances. After all, she had been asleep at the time. "You feelin’ any better?"

Tara nodded, but she yawned. Her eyes widened as she suddenly registered that she was holding Willow’s hand to her chest, and that she was sensually caressing it.

"Yeah, feeling better." Tara sat up abruptly, setting Willow’s hand aside as nonchalantly as possible. "How long did I sleep?"

"Um, just two hours, but I thought you might want to get up." Willow missed the feeling of her hand in Tara’s. "Someone’s here to see you." She tried to sound happy, but wasn’t completely successful.

Tara seemed to sense Willow’s sorrow, and the cause. She reached out and took Willow’s hand. "You still up for the cleansing ritual tonight?" She smiled and dipped her head so she could hide behind her long bangs.

"Yeah," Willow said quickly. ‘Like I’d pass up naked Tara time,’ she thought wickedly.

"You haven’t figured out my evil plan?" Tara asked innocently.

Willow’s brows furrowed as confusion covered her face.

"It’s all a plot to get you naked," Tara joked. "Is it working?" She smiled cheekily so Willow would know she was kidding, though in truth, she had woken up feeling desire coursing through her veins. ‘Must be hormones,’ she realized.

Willow blushed and looked down at the blanket.

"I’m kidding," Tara said seriously. She reminded herself that she was angry with Willow for her near relapse earlier.

"Of course." Willow nodded her head and tried to slow her pounding pulse.

"So … a visitor?" Tara asked. She realized if she didn’t change the subject soon, she’d say or do something she wasn’t ready for.

"Oh!" Willow leapt to her feet. "Come on. You have to come downstairs."

"Do I?" Tara asked. She climbed from the bed and her thoughts drifted. Her feelings for Willow were complex and confusing. One minute she was angry and the next she just wanted to hold the beautiful redhead.

"Yep. Now, come on." Willow backed toward the door.

Tara smiled tolerantly and followed Willow into the hall. She loved the way Willow’s eyes sparkled when she was excited, and it reminded Tara of happier times. She missed those carefree days filled with love and joy, when the only problems were vampires or demons. She chuckled at the absurdity of that thought. Most people would consider memories of demons and vampires something best forgotten.

"You okay?" Willow noticed Tara’s thoughts drifting.

"Yeah." Tara nodded and hurried along at Willow’s side. "So, who’s here?" she asked as the came down the staircase.

"Tara, you look positively radiant," Giles said in an emotion filled tone.

"Mister Giles!" Tara smiled brightly.

"How are you?" he asked anxiously.

"Fine," she responded shyly. She quickly crossed the room to greet him.

"Let me look at you." He took both of her hands and lifted them out to her sides and studied her belly.

"I’m not showing yet." Tara rolled her eyes and her face warmed as she blushed.

"Are you happy?" he asked as he lowered her hands and held them clasped in front of him.

"Oh, yes." Tara’s blue eyes sparkled as if twin suns were lighting them from behind.

"Congratulations." He pulled her into a tender embrace.

"He has presents," Willow said as she went to the kitchen door. "In his suitcase." She nodded toward the other room.

"You didn’t h-have to," Tara protested.

"For the baby." Giles eased back and led Tara to the kitchen.

Buffy was sitting at the kitchen table studying a box of European chocolates. "Hey, Tara." She glanced up long enough to acknowledge the blonde witch and then went back to her chocolatey treat.

"Where’s everyone else?" Willow asked.

"Outside playing with Anya’s gift." Buffy broke open the box and smiled gleefully at the rich contents. "Oh, truffles!" She popped one into her mouth. "These are so good!" she said around the tasty treat.

Tara wondered what Giles brought Anya that required going outside to enjoy. A puzzled expression covered her refined features.

"He brought her glow in the dark body paint," Willow whispered wickedly.

"Mister Giles!" Tara’s jaw dropped in shock.

"I most certainly did not," Giles insisted. "I brought her a book with all of the constellations." He gave Willow a stern scowl. "It outlines which astrological alignments are the best harbingers for weddings."

"I like Willow’s idea." Buffy snickered. "Sounds more like Anya."

"So … presents?" Willow prompted. She waggled her eyebrows at Tara.

The blonde witch smiled warmly and reached her hand out to Willow. "You never could wait when presents were involved."

"Well, I waited two hours while you slept." Willow took Tara’s hand and moved to her side. "Presents?" she asked as she gave Giles a stern stare.

"Yes, of course." Giles blushed and went to his suitcase. He opened it quickly and pulled out two packages. He smiled shyly and handed the smaller one to Tara. "For the baby."

Tara bit her lip and turned the package in her hands. She looked over at Willow with a questioning glance.

Willow nodded and looked down at the brightly colored package.

Tara hesitated briefly and then ripped the wrapping paper into shreds. "A box." She looked over at Willow.

"Here." Willow leaned over and lifted the box open. "Oh, how cute!" There were two small bears in the box. Both were dressed in frilly dresses. She plucked them out and hugged them.

"Hold their faces together," Giles suggested nervously.

"Geez, Giles. You plushy perv!" Buffy said with a snicker.

Willow moved the two bears together and gasped when their noses moved together with a click. "They’re kissing!" She smiled at Tara. "The two girlie bears are smoochin.’ Well, wha’da know?"

"That one has stitches." Tara frowned at the injured toy. "She’s had a little bear nose job."

"Yes, well, I had to do a bit of … creative surgery to get the bears to … come together." Giles took off his glasses and wiped them.

"You wanna’ explain that, watcher-man?" Buffy edged closer and examined the tiny nose job.

"I saw the bears at the airport." Giles put his glasses back on and cleared his throat. "I thought the baby would like them. They’re cute, and soft, and … they kiss."

Willow and Tara were looking down at the bears and gently tugging them apart and making them kiss again and again.

"They’re very cute," Tara agreed without looking up.

"Very." Willow giggled as the bears clicked together.

"Yes, well, the original bears were homophobic," Giles insisted. "They only kissed bears of the opposite gender." He grimaced and waved a hand at Tara and Willow. "I didn’t want to send that message to their child."

"So ya’ gave the bear a nose job?" Buffy asked with a confused scowl.

"The bears have magnets in their noses," Giles explained as his cheeks turned red. "The males have the polar side pointing one way, and the females the other."

"You swapped her little nose magnet," Willow said as she poked at the tiny row of stitches. "Hey!" She looked over at the Watcher. "You can’t just change her beary- sexual preference!" she said playfully.

"He didn’t." Tara giggled. "He removed the oppressive social influences s-so she could find her true inner lesbear."

"Something like that," Giles said dryly.

"Giles, you big softy." Buffy smiled fondly at her Watcher.

"I got some strange looks on the plane, I can tell you." He blanched. "Some of the passengers thought I was building a bomb." He sighed. "Thankfully when I explained to one of the stewardesses, she became quite helpful." He pointed at the bears. "She even had some thread that was almost a perfect match."

Tara and Willow each had one bear. They were making them kiss again and again.

"They’re drawn together," Tara said with mock seriousness.

"It’s her magnetic personality," Willow said as she wiggled her bear. "Com’ere, baby." She giggled and pressed her bear to Tara’s.

"She can’t resist," Tara joked. As the two bears connected she looked up at Willow. The redhead smiled and their eyes locked as their own magnetism pulled their hearts together.

"Who could?" Willow asked shyly. She wasn’t talking about the bear anymore.

Tara smirked. It was her trademark ‘Tara-grin,’ and it never failed to make Willow’s legs go weak with need.

"Open the other one," Buffy said from across the room. The Slayer had no idea she was interrupting a tiny step toward reconciliation.

"Yes, open it," Giles said excitedly. He nodded at the gift beside Willow. She had set it down to play with the kissing bears.

"Okay." Willow cast one last glance into Tara’s eyes and handed her the second bear. She picked up the other gift. "It’s heavy," she commented quietly.

Tara clicked the bears together and held them to her chest. She felt like they represented her and Willow in more ways than one. Certainly the bears shared an undeniable attraction, but the one had been through a shift, a change in its polarity. She wondered if Willow could switch to light based magic as easily.

Willow opened the package and looked down at the contents, "It’s a rock," she said plaintively. She remembered watching the Peanuts Halloween special with Xander as a child. Charlie Brown always got rocks when he went trick or treating. She looked over at Giles. "Why did I get a rock?" she asked pitifully.

Tara giggled and scooted closer. "We can share the bears," she whispered.

"That ‘rock’ was acquired from the top-secret inner circle at Stonehenge," Giles said indignantly. "It was buried under layers of earth, and only a handful of people even know it exists."

"Okay, so it’s an impressive rock." Willow looked down at her present with a newly inspired sense of awe.

"Wow." Tara looked down at the rock and then reached out and touched it. "It must be powerful," she added reverently.

"It’s too much," Willow said as he looked up at Giles. "Why?"

"To remind you that all things are possible," Giles replied lovingly.

"And you didn’t think her getting her girlfriend pregnant would’a made that perfectly clear?" Buffy asked.

"Hush," he ordered.

"You left, Mister." Buffy turned her head and did her best to ignore him. "You don’t get to be the boss of me anymore."

"Like I ever was," Giles countered.

Tara smiled and then yawned.

Willow quickly put the stone on the table and spun to face Tara. "You sleepy? Should I help you upstairs?"

"No, and yes." Tara smiled cryptically.

Willow’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

"No, I’m not sleepy," Tara explained. "And yes, you should help me upstairs." She smirked as Willow’s confusion only increased. "We have to do that ritual, remember?" She picked up the stone and cradled it in one arm.

The redhead nodded and her cheeks slowly shaded deep red.

"Come on," Tara took Willow’s hand and pulled her toward the door. She was balancing the stone in the crook of her arm and had the bears still pressed to her chest; the two fluffy lovers were still locked in a beary kiss. "Thank you, Mister Giles."

"Yeah, thanks," Willow grabbed the stone from the Tara. "We love them," she nodded at the stone and the bears.

"My pleasure," Giles said sincerely. "Now go rest."

"They are so not going to rest," Buffy said as soon as the two witches were out of the room.

"It’s best we not dwell on that," he said with a knowing smirk. He hoped the sacred stone was indeed powerful. He had heard a myth that its key properties were that it helped unite souls and it inflamed passions. He only half believed it, but he liked the symbolism of giving it to the two struggling lovers.

Willow was nervous, and when she was nervous, she babbled. Unfortunately, she couldn’t babble at the moment.

"May this oil draw out all darkness that dwells within," Tara said as she anointed Willow’s forehead.

Willow held perfectly still. Her eyes were closed, and she didn’t dare open them. She and Tara were both dressed in simple white shifts for the ritual, and Willow remembered exactly how Tara’s dress fit her, or rather, didn’t fit her. The shift had always been tight across Tara’s chest, but with her pregnancy hormones kicking in, the blonde was now somewhat larger. The buttons strained against her newly enlarged flesh.

"Goddess, guide my hands," Tara whispered. She moved her fingers over Willow’s temples. After a moment she paused. "What’s wrong? You’re tense."

"Just a little nervous," Willow said sheepishly.

"We’ve done this before," Tara reminded her ex-lover.

"Yeah, but we were … you know." Willow cleared her throat.

"This is a sacred ritual. This isn’t about … attraction," Tara said as she tried to convince herself as much as she was Willow. "For this ritual, I am the hand of the goddess."

Willow nodded, but she was not convinced.

"Ready?" Tara asked.

The redhead nodded again.

"Goddess, guide my hands." Tara rubbed Willow’s temples again. When she felt the redhead relax into her touch, she moved her hands down to Willow’s chest. "This heart is pure, though bathed in darkness. Help us return its light."

Willow sighed as she felt the powerful healing energy. It was magic based in light, but Tara was focusing its strength. Willow could feel the love and concern fill her.

"It’s time," Tara said as she took Willow’s hand. She led the redhead to the upstairs bathroom and locked the door behind them.

Both women were silent as they undressed and climbed into the shower. Tara carefully washed Willow, as she had the night before. The suds didn’t turn black as they had the first time, so it didn’t take as long. Both witches kept their eyes averted to protect their modesty, but each caught a few glimpses.

They spent a few awkward moments as they dressed quickly and went to the bedroom.

"So, I should go downstairs to the couch," Willow said without looking at Tara.

"You r-really s-should sleep here." Tara nodded toward the bed. "Ya’ know, so I can protect you?" She shrugged and bit her lip.

"I thought after earlier, with the dark eyes…" Willow’s voice trailed off.

"I wish you didn’t react with dark magic, but I’m proud you controlled it." Tara sat on the bed and crossed her legs Indian style as she sat on top of the comforter. "I’m not r-ready to go back to ‘us,’ but I w-want you safe."

A tiny smile blossomed on Willow’s lips.

"Okay?" Tara asked.

"Okay," Willow replied with a grin. She trotted over and hopped onto the bed beside Tara. "So, ready for bed?" she bounced up and down.

Tara laughed and climbed from the bed. She saw Willow’s eyes fill with sadness. "I’m just gonna’ light the candles and pour the salt," she explained. "I’ll be right back."

Ten minutes later the two witches were snuggled in bed. It was almost like it had been before their breakup, except now each witch held her passion in check and felt guilty for wanting to touch the woman she loved. They drifted off to sleep wondering what the future held.

*****

Tara woke up with a sensual moan. She opened her eyes and realized that it was late at night and she was pinned under Willow’s lithe body. She let her eyes adjust and looked down at Willow. The redhead was sprawled on her chest, with her face nuzzling a convenient breast, while her hand was busy rubbing Tara’s belly.

‘It would be so easy,’ Tara thought. ‘I could just shift my weight and she’d roll onto her back and pull me onto her.’ She took a deep breath and tried to fight the raging fire between her legs. ‘Who knew hormones could be this intense?’

Willow’s hand moved up to tease the bottom of Tara’s breast.

The blonde witch’s entire body shivered. She wanted Willow, she knew that much, but she still had doubts about a future with her. ‘We love each other,’ Tara rationalized internally. ‘What would it hurt if we made love?’ She missed the late night lovemaking sessions she used to share with Willow.

The redhead climbed further onto Tara’s body and kissed her throat.

"Willow?" Tara’s voice was ragged. "Wake up, Willow."

A grumble was Willow’s only reply. Her hand moved up and cupped Tara’s breast.

"Oh boy," Tara said with a squeak. "Willow!" she said firmly. Every nerve ending was begging Tara to follow Willow’s lead, to roll over and take the beautiful redhead and damn the consequences.

"Baby?" Willow slowly awoke. She blinked in the near darkness and then her entire body stiffened. "Oh, Tara, I didn’t mean to ... I’m so sorry," she stammered as she started to squirm away.

"Wait," Tara said firmly. She pinned Willow in place on her chest and looked up at her. "I don’t want you to be sorry."

"Okay…" Willow paused as her logical mind tried to figure out what Tara wanted. "You want me to just keep my hands to myself?" she offered with a dejected sigh. "I know, I shouldn’t—"

"I don’t want you to be sorry," Tara said as she cupped Willow’s cheek and pulled her closer so they could make eye contact. "I want you to be awake," she added in a sultry whisper. Her hand moved slowly down Willow’s body and kneaded the tense muscles of her lower back.

"Oh." Willow’s confusion lingered, but her body began to hum as she processed what her ex-lover meant.

Tara shifted her weight and bit her lip when Willow responded exactly as she expected. The redhead rolled onto her back, pulling Tara’s arm to bring the blonde to her.

‘Goddess, I shouldn’t be doing this,’ Tara thought. She didn’t resist as Willow guided her closer. "Willow?" Tara whispered.

"Ta-ra." Willow let out a sigh and ran her hands down the blonde’s back and gave her firm backside a squeeze.

"Oh, goddess." Tara dipped her head and kissed Willow’s neck under her ear. "Willow, baby, I need you." She nipped the redhead’s tender throat and moaned as she showered Willow’s throat with kisses.

"Oh, god," Willow’s eyes fluttered closed. She inhaled deeply and twisted her neck to give the blonde better access. "Tara?" she asked as her rational thoughts were replaced by more primal desires.

"Darling, I need you. Right now." Tara’s hand moved down and caressed Willow’s breast through her nightshirt.

"I’m not dreaming," Willow said as her senses came alive. "Goddess, Tara." She reached up and guided Tara’s mouth to hers.

They shared a heated, frantic kiss that deepened as each woman felt her passion ignite.

"Oh, darling," Tara said as she lifted her head to take a breath. "I need you so much." Her hand traced Willow’s breast, moving closer to the erect nipple. "I want you, tonight." She kissed both sides of Willow’s smile and then took a long, hungry kiss. "Right now, right here."

"Yes, oh goddess, yes," Willow said as soon as the kiss ended. Her heart was filled to bursting as she felt Tara’s touch. "Yes, baby."

Tara smiled and growled. She ducked her face and ravished Willow’s neck as her hand moved down and snaked under Willow’s top. Her hand moved beneath the fabric and over Willow’s breast in an instant. It was bliss, ecstasy, heaven and rapture all in one tiny pert package.

"I love you," Willow said as she arched her body toward Tara’s.

"Darling…" Tara paused, Willow’s words both soothed her soul and opened old wounds. "Kiss me." She needed to feel, but she couldn’t think about what was happening or she would change her mind. For the moment, she was loving her precious Willow. In the morning she would deal with the reality of Willow’s addiction. She leaned into Willow’s mouth and gave her a plundering kiss.

The kiss was heated and primal and left both witches whimpering for more even as they broke for much needed oxygen. Tara grabbed Willow’s top and pushed it up. She saw her lover’s small nipple and she dove onto it, bathing it with her hot tongue. She moaned as Willow arched up to meet her warmth.

"I love you." Willow tangled her hands in Tara’s blonde hair. "Thank you," she said between shuttering breaths. She was grateful for a second chance and fought back tears.

Tara continued worshipping Willow’s breast. One hand caressed the opposite breast while the other hand moved down and slid under the elastic of Willow’s pajama bottoms. She moaned when she cupped her ex-lover’s heated flesh and felt Willow’s dampness through her silky panties. Her body trembled. She knew Willow was ready and warm and waiting for her.

"I’ll never let you down again, baby," Willow whispered. Her legs opened in anticipation. "You’re my always, Tara."

Tara froze. She couldn’t make love to Willow under false pretenses. Up until that point, she could convince herself that she and Willow both wanted each other regardless of what it meant or didn’t mean. Now, she had proof that Willow expected more. She sighed in frustration and pulled her mouth away. "Wait," she whispered. She quickly removed her hand from between Willow’s legs and then tugged the redhead’s top back into place.

"Don’t stop," Willow murmured. She looked up at Tara, needing the connection. "Tara, darling?"

"Will, I, this doesn’t … I just miss you so much." Tara brushed the tousled strands of red hair from the other woman’s face.

"I miss you too." Willow smiled sweetly and rubbed Tara’s sides.

"I, I need … but I’m not ready for us—"

"There’s no rush," Willow said as she rolled to one side so Tara was next to her. "We have the rest of our lives to make love." She squeezed Tara’s hand. "We can go slow."

Tara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt like a heartless bitch.

"There’s no hurry." Willow leaned over and tenderly kissed Tara’s forehead.

"I w-wanted to make love to you." Tara opened her eyes. "But I, I’m not ready for us to be together," she admitted. Guilt hit her like a freight train.

"What do you mean?" Even as Willow asked the question, understanding slowly spread over her face. She incandescent smile faded and a horrified grimace took its place. "No," she whispered. She pulled away from Tara as tears welled in her green eyes. "How could you?" she asked harshly.

"Willow…" Tara sat up and reached for the redhead. "I do love you."

"Don’t," Willow said roughly. She stumbled out of the bed and grabbed her jeans from a chair and pulled them on over her pajamas.

"Willow," Tara pleaded. "Let me explain."

"Shut up," Willow said between clenched teeth. "I can’t hear this right now, Tara." Her heart was breaking. She wiped a tear from her cheek and ran from the room. She slammed the door closed with a resounding crash.

Tara sat in the darkness and stared at the closed door. She felt hot tears sliding down her cheeks and she didn’t even try to wipe them away. The tears rolled past her jaw onto her neck, cooling against the night air. "What have I done?" she asked in a tiny whisper. She curled up in the huge bed and sobbed.

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