Unexpected Consequences: A Willow and Tara novel.
Please read the Disclaimer before continuing to remain in the site or reading the stories. These stories contain adult material with scenes of women loving women. Consider this story to have an R rating. If this is illegal in your state or you are underage, please go to a more appropriate site now.
Please do not archive, link or reproduce without Author's Written Permission
Disclaimer: I don't own any Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters. No copyright infringement is intended. Original characters are mine.
Pairing: W/T... eventually
Angst Rating: Highest rating... buy stock in Kleenex
Rating: PG 13 for adult themes and eventual W/T goodness.
Unexpected Consequences
© December 2001
By Lisa Countryman
CHAPTER NINETEEN
"It’s around here somewhere," Willow said as she moved down the alley. "It was here last time." She turned toward Buffy. "Oh, god, Buffy, what if I can’t find it?" She spun around and scanned the dark alley. "It’s masked. What if I can’t feel it anymore?"
"Then I’ll feel it for you," Spike said as he came around the corner. "I’m still a big bad, even if you’re not." He flicked a cigarette onto the ground.
"Where’s Rack?" Buffy asked. She felt a wave of relief and gratitude that the platinum haired vampire happened to be in the area. "Hey! What the hell are you doing here?"
"I brought him," Giles said breathlessly. He staggered around the corner wheezing. "I asked you to wait up."
"Buffy needed me." Spike nodded toward the Slayer. "I wasn’t gonna’ lolligag while she was being barbecued by Willow’s dealer."
"Ex-dealer," Buffy pointed out.
"Where is he?" Willow demanded angrily. "Damn it, he has Tara." She ran to Spike and grabbed him by his leather lapels. "Where is he?"
"Easy," Spike said gently. "We’ll get your bird back." He took a step back and closed his eyes. "You’re off a bit." He opened his eyes and pointed down the street. "Rack’s place is down the way." He headed across the alley.
"Has she?" Giles nodded at Willow.
"No dark magic," Buffy said as they followed Spike.
"And that could all change if we don’t find Tara quick," Xander whispered.
"We should have some faith in her," Giles said. He tripped over a curb, but Buffy caught him before he fell.
"There." Spike pointed to an empty alley. "This place reeks of dark magic. I’m guessin’ his door is right down there by that garbage can."
Willow lowered her head and sprinted down the alley.
"Willow, wait," Buffy yelled. She ran after the redhead with the others following on her heels.
"Wait for us," Giles warned. "Dear lord," he muttered when Willow hit an unseen barrier and then just disappeared into it.
"Guess we found it," Spike said. He grabbed Buffy with one hand, and then roughly shoved Giles into Xander and pushed the entire group through the barrier.
Willow staggered into the waiting area of Rack’s lair. She looked around and was surprised to find it empty. Just as she took a step toward his door, Xander collided with her from behind.
"Isn’t this a lovely hovel?" Xander said even as Giles staggered through the barrier and slammed into him.
"He’ll be in there," Willow said as she headed for the door.
"Wait." Giles grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop. "We need a plan."
Buffy and Spike walked through the barrier. The vampire had her upper arm firmly in his grip and didn’t let go once they had passed through. "Better be a good one, or we’ll all be fried."
"The plan is … I kill him." Willow gripped the small book under her arm. There were several spells in it designed for minor attacks, but she knew enough about altering spell to make them deadly.
"Not with that you won’t." Giles nodded at the book.
The door to Rack’s room opened and he stepped into the threshold. "Welcome back, Strawberry. What took you so long?"
"Darkness be gone," Willow said angrily. "She thrust out her palm and a blinding light shot out and engulfed Rack.
"Blimey! How ‘bout some warning?" Spike jumped back and patted his arm, which was now smoldering. "Can’t just spark up sunshine without letting me stand clear."
Buffy grabbed his arm and saw that he was merely smoking, and not hurt. She glanced down and noticed he was still holding her arm. "Get off me!" She moved back.
Rack was engulfed in the flame, but he stood calmly. He lifted his hands and admired his fingernails and then flicked one wrist and the light was gone. "Thanks for the tan." He smiled cruelly. "Been a while since I’ve been out in the sun."
"Where is she?" Willow took aim again.
"Give her back," Xander added. He puffed his chest, but it was an idle bluff, since he had no powers and no weapon. He suddenly wished he had the handgun he’d taken from his parents.
"This isn’t about magic," Rack leaned against the wall. "You can’t get what you want by trading blows with me."
"Where is Tara?" Giles reached under his jacket and pulled out a short crossbow that had been hanging down his back under his coat. He aimed it at Rack and unlatched the safety.
"I don’t have her." Rack smiled at Willow. "But I know who does."
"You bastard!" Willow ran the last few steps and grabbed him by the throat. "Where is she?"
"Darkness is still in you," he said, completely unfazed by her attack.
Buffy went to Willow’s side and pulled her back. "Willow, you can’t just choke this guy." She spun and backhanded him, then followed it up with a left hook the lifted him off the ground. "She asked you a question," Buffy said as she kicked him in the groin.
That did faze him. He bent over and growled. "None of you were invited." He stood back up and started to raise one hand.
"We crashed." Buffy hit his jaw with a roundhouse kick. "I know, it’s rude, but what can I say? I’m rude." She punctuated each sentence with a series of bone crushing hits and kicks that pushed Rack into his room.
"Call them off, or your bitch dies," Rack said as he stumbled into small table.
"Buffy, wait!" Willow ran to her friend’s side.
"Give us Tara, or you die," Buffy said calmly.
"Out," Rack said as he shoved a fist at Buffy. The Slayer went flying through the side of the room and disappeared as she was tossed outside the masked lair.
"What the?" Buffy jumped to her feet and looked around the alley. She ran forward, ducking her head expecting to cross the barrier, but nothing happened. She stopped when she reached the other side of the alley and then looked behind her. "Willow!" she yelled. She had no way of entering the lair if she couldn’t find it. "Spike!"
"Where is she?" Willow yelled. She could feel the dark magic churning inside her along with her rage.
"Outside," Rack said as he nodded toward the wall where he had just tossed Buffy.
"Tara," Willow said dangerously. "Where is she?"
"Give us the blonde witch and we’ll be on our way," Spike said as he came into the room and stood beside Willow. "Otherwise, you’re in for a heap full o’ trouble." The vampire’s face morphed and his fangs bared. "And I do mean trouble."
"A vampire." Rack yawned and covered his mouth with the back of one hand. "Whatever shall I do?" he added in a bored tone.
"And he’s an evil vampire," Xander said as he stood beside Spike. "He’ll rip you to little pieces and like doing it. He’ll bite you and well, pretty much bite you some more, but it’ll hurt, kill you even."
"Thanks for the promo," Spike said wryly. "Though it lost something there at the end."
"Yes, vampire. Very scary." Rack looked down at his hand and a stake appeared and he threw it at Spike.
Spike’s eyes widened as he saw the wooden projectile coming straight for his heart. Just as he was about to move, Xander shoved him out of the way and then screamed.
"Xander!" Willow yelled as she ran to his side. The stake and grazed his arm, taking out a good size chuck of flesh with it. Willow pressed her hand over the wound to slow the considerable bleeding. Her eyes went black and she stiffened her shoulders. Her chest burned where the amulet touched her skin. "He dies now."
"Willow, no." Xander grabbed her wrist.
Giles fired his crossbow but it bounced harmlessly off of Rack’s chest. Spike used the distraction to rush the warlock.
"Out," Rack said and sent Spike flying through the wall. He turned toward Giles and smiled as he glanced at wall.
"Willow, if you use dark magic, he wins!" Giles said as he braced himself for rack’s attack.
"Out," Rack said with a sneer and sent Giles out behind Spike.
"I owe you pain," Willow said as she stood over Xander. "Where is Tara?"
"Willow, if you give in, what will Tara think?" Xander asked as he slumped against her shoulder. "Do you want to give up everything you’ve done so—"
"Out," Rack said one last time. Xander was ripped away from Willow and disappeared through the side of the wall leaving Willow and Rack alone.
*****
Xander screamed like a six-year-old girl as he appeared out of thin air and rolled across the dirty pavement of the alley. "Son of a butt monkey!" he said as he sat up.
"We have to get back in there," Buffy yelled. "Spike?"
"We’ve been evicted," the vampire said as he paced. "Whatever’s going down is between the two of them."
"We have to get in there," Xander was pacing back and forth over the place he was just ejected from Rack’s lair.
"I didn’t see Tara," Spike said as he tilted his head to one side. "What kind of big bad doesn’t have the bait with him. Why isn’t he tormenting Tara or at least tapping her power. Hell, she’s hot. He could at least be takin’ a little grope."
"Why are you so disgusting?" Buffy asked angrily. "Just when I was beginning to think you aren’t a monster, you open your mouth and prove that you are."
"I am a monster, pet," Spike said, though not unkindly. "It’s my nature. I’m just saying, I don’t think he has Tara."
"Where is she?" Xander asked. His eye filled with sadness. "You don’t think he … that he … he wouldn’t kill her would he?"
"Depends on his mood." Spike nodded toward the section of the ally that hid Rack’s lair. "He’s a big time dealer in the dark arts, yet he’s obsessed with Red. Why?"
"Willow’s quite powerful," Giles said flatly. "And she faces down the evils of this town." He took off his glasses and wiped them. "Unfortunately, she is highly susceptible to dark magic. If something has happened to Tara, I fear Willow may end up being one of those evils we must face."
Buffy shook her head, but the sadness in her eyes made it clear she agreed with her Watcher.
"And while I’m posing questions, how did Rack’s nasties get Tara in the first place? Maybe he’s got an inside man."
"Or woman," Giles said as his eyes narrowed.
"Or rat!" Buffy’s face flushed with fury. "Amy!"
"We left her with Anya and Dawn," Xander said as he began running down the alley.
"Wait, Buffy go with him," Giles ordered.
"But Willow…" The Slayer pointed where Rack’s lair was hidden.
"Is on her own," Giles interrupted gently. "Now go, make sure Dawn and Anya are safe."
"And rough up the rat girl," Spike suggested. "Maybe she knows where Tara is."
"Keep Giles safe," Buffy told Spike as she backed away. "Guard him."
"With my life," Spike swore as he rested his hand over his unbeating heart. "Now go, the nibbet’s waiting."
"Sometimes I don’t quite hate you," Buffy said she spun and ran after Xander.
Spike’s face lit up as he watched the Slayer leave. He turned back toward Rack’s lair and saw Giles eyeing him with murderous intent.
"Right-o." Spike took a step back. "I’ll just guard you from over here." He backed to the wall and leaned against it.
*****
"Well?" Rack asked as he stood in front of Willow. "Say it. I want to hear you beg."
Willow took a deep breath and nodded. "Please give Tara back to me." Her eyes returned to green.
Rack screamed and shoved his fists into the air. Green bolts of energy scorched the wall. "Forget her!" he yelled. "I want you to ask me, beg me for what you really need." He held out his hands toward her. They crackled with power and warmed her skin across the few feet separating them. "You know you want it. I was inside your skin. You need the power and I can give it to you."
Willow crossed her arms over her chest. "So, mister big-scary-powerful-magic-dealer-man, why are you the one begging?"
His face contorted with rage. He stepped closer and his voice became a hiss. "Fool. I wanted you to ask to join me. I could have shaped you into a god. You could have had your own string of users lined up down the street for a taste of your strawberry highs." He slowly reached for her chest. "But now you’re just gonna’ be another burned out junkie." His hand glowed as he prepared to send a wave of dark magic toward her.
Willow stood defiantly, praying to the goddess for help, for the amulet to save her, but most of all, for the strength to resist summoning a spell to melt Rack where he stood. She knew that if she gave in and unleashed her dark magic, she would be back where she started the night Dawn was injured in the car accident. She knew a relapse was only one spell away and she wouldn’t let Tara down. She prayed standing by her convictions didn’t kill her.
"Take it," Rack said as he flexed his fingers. A ball of power left his hand and shot toward Willow, but it hit a shinning white barrier and bounced back to the dealer.
"No!" he yelled as he was thrown across the room and landed with a loud crash. "Take what I’m offering!" he bellowed. He ran toward Willow in a blinding rage. "Take it!"
"Goddess protect me," Willow whispered as she held her ground.
Rack growled and rushed her. He hit her shield and bounced off as if he were a speck of dust hitting an airplane’s windsheild.
"Where is Tara?" Willow demanded. "You can’t tempt me, and you can’t force me, so just tell me where she is."
"I have a Scaldor demon holding her." Rack straighten his back and tried to regain his composure. "But one word from me, one thought, and he’ll snap her neck." He smiled when he saw Willow flinch. "Would you like that, strawberry?" he asked sweetly.
"Let her go," Willow said firmly, though her insides felt like jelly.
"Tell you what," Rack said as he rubbed his chin. "You drop your shield, and take what I know you want, and I will let Tara go."
Willow faltered, and her eyes gave her away. She was weighing his offer. She quickly narrowed her eyes and glared at him. "Go to hell."
"Been there, didn’t care for the decorating." He edged closer, pausing at the edge of her barrier. "You are gonna’ come to me, once a week, and you’ll take what I offer." His smile became a vicious sneer. "And you’ll keep coming back, if you want that bitch of yours to live." He lifted his fingers and sparks danced over his skin. "It’s a good deal. You get to keep your bitch, you get a sweet high, and I get my fill of strawberries." He licked his lips and nodded at the barrier.
Willow shivered. His actions literally made her skin crawl.
"Well, whatda’ ya’ say?" He licked his lips again, this time more slowly. "You gonna’ play, or is Tara gonna’ pay?"
Willow closed her eyes and sent out a prayer to the goddess. ‘Please forgive me, Tara,’ she thought as she opened her eyes and met Rack’s hungry gaze. "You’ll never have me again." Her heart ached as she feared she’s just signed Tara’s death warrant. Part of her knew Rack would probably kill Tara anyway, and that rational part knew that Tara would rather die than see Willow use dark magic again.
He howled with rage and tried to grab her. He was thrown across the room, screaming, only now in pain. He looked down at his hands and screamed. "You bitch!" His skin was charred and covered with oozing blisters.
"You’ve lost." Willow walked closer, her head held high. "Where is she?" She knew Tara would be proud, and that thought gave her strength. She didn’t have to hand out revenge, like she’d tried with Glory; she only had to stand strong in the face of temptation. Nothing Rack said could hurt her.
Rack stared down at his burned hands for a moment and then lifted his head. He was smiling, and it was the triumphant smile of a victor.
Willow’s blood ran cold and her insides now felt like water.
"She’s already dead," Rack said with a smug smirk. He used his scalded hand to reach into his pocket and slowly pulled out a wadded up piece of paper. "You left her unprotected. She walked right into my trap." He tossed the paper at Willow.
The redhead almost didn’t catch the paper, afraid it might be a trick, but something made her hand shoot out and grab the bit of parchment. She uncrumpled it and recognized Tara’s handwriting immediately. As she read the words, the meaning sunk in. She’d rushed out of the house in a panic before Tara could return, leaving the house unguarded. She frowned, realizing the house had a strong protection spell warding over it. There was no way for Rack to get the note. "Oh, god," she whispered. "Amy."
"Surprise," he said with a ruthless, twisted smile.
*****
Tara struggled to her feet at the base of the stairs and faced Caedo. "Y-you don’t w-want to do this."
"If you hurt her, you’ll die!" Anya yelled. "I know D’Hoffryn, and he owes be a few favors."
"My sister’s the Slayer!" Dawn yelled. "She’ll kill you so dead if you don’t leave right now."
"I love it when they beg." Caedo hit Tara with a blast of energy that tossed her up the staircase. She landed in the hall, a few feet beyond the stairs. Caedo looked up the landing with deadly intent.
"Stand up," Anya said as she leaned against Dawn.
"What?" The teen looked down at their bound bodies. "We can’t do anything."
"We can ram him, and slow him down." Anya continued leaning into Dawn.
"Hey, demon breath?" Dawn yelled as she pushed against Anya’s back. "Those whimpy horns of yours look like overgrown zits!"
The warlock ignored Dawn’s taunts and hit Tara with another blast of energy.
Tara’s entire body felt like it was on fire. She closed her eyes and screamed in agony.
Dawn and Anya managed to climb to their feet by steadying themselves against each other.
"And your partner?" Dawn taunted. "Dead, and I mean so dead. My sister killed him."
That got Caedo’s attention. He slowly turned and growled at Dawn.
"I said slow him down, not make him kill us," Anya whispered.
"He’s leaving Tara alone, isn’t he?" Dawn pointed out.
"Tara, run!" Anya screamed as she waddled toward the warlock.
Caedo glanced over his shoulder and flicked his wrist sending Tara rolling down the stairs. He faced Dawn and smiled. "So, your sister killed my partner?"
"Well, killed is such a strong word," Anya stalled. "I mean, how was Buffy to know driving a chunk of wood through his heart would kill him?"
Tara landed at the bottom of the stairs and didn’t move. She was breathing in ragged, labored breaths. She opened her eyes and looked up the short staircase and then frowned. She was seeing two images; one was the familiar short set of stairs, and the other, an even more familiar set of long, narrow, steep stairs. She swallowed hard as she heard her mother’s screams. She was reliving the memory of her own death at the hands of her father.
"Look, I know the blonde is annoying," Amy said as she scooted closer to the warlock. She’d been standing off in the corner watching the unfolding scene. "But maybe we shouldn’t kill her. I mean, that will really piss off the Slayer." Amy’s eyes twitched nervously. "And these two? Rack didn’t say anything about killing them. He didn’t authorize that." Her eyes darted to where Tara was sprawled at the foot of the stairs. She hated Tara, blamed her for taking Willow away from her, but she didn’t want to see the witch and her child dead. "We should just hold them," she added as she looked into Caedo’s dark eyes.
"We can hold them," he said as he pointed a gnarled finger at Anya and Dawn. "But the witch dies." He spun and headed toward Tara.
"Untie us," Anya hissed. "Listen, rat girl, if you don’t want Willow to kill you, do something!"
Amy was sweating nervously. She watched as Caedo kicked Tara, tossing her up three stairs. The battered blonde rolled back down to his feet, and he laughed throatily.
"Amy, please," Dawn begged.
The dark haired witch paused and then reached into her pocket and took out the leather pouch. She opened it and poured the contents out. "Release," she whispered even as the photograph of Tara fluttered to the floor.
Tara inhaled deeply as she felt the binding spell release. She thrust out a hand at the warlock. "Absentius," she said weakly, using the Latin word for ‘away.’
Caedo was tossed back, but he stayed on his feet. He looked at Amy and his eyes flashed fire, literally. "Burn," he said with a growl. Flames shot from his eyes.
Amy shrieked and dove out of the way. She scurried toward the door, looking like the rat she used to be.
"Let us go!" Anya yelled at the retreating witch.
Amy got to the door and climbed to her feet. "You’re on your own," she said as she ducked out the door.
Tara lifted her head with considerable effort. She tried to lift her hand, but her arm wasn’t strong enough. She pointed a shaking finger toward Dawn and whispered, "Liberatio." Her face dropped to the rough surface of the carpet.
"Not so fast, witch." Caedo faced Tara and moved toward her.
Tara couldn’t have lifted her head if she had wanted to, and at the moment, all she wanted to do was slip into the welcoming arms of slumber. She hurt everywhere. The combination of Caedos’ beating and the searing pain of his magical attacks had drained her. She watched with one eye as he came closer. She could see the menace in his gait, and her mind flashed on the scene of her father stalking toward her mother. ‘Was this how it felt, mama?’ she thought as she fought to move her hands over her belly. She had to try to keep Caedo from hurting Brianna.
Anya hit Caedo in a full body tackle. She drove him to the ground and clung to his back like a house cat trying to bring down an elephant. "Leave Cletus alone!" she screeched.
"And Tara!" Dawn yelled as she hit the warlock with a chair.
Caedo spun, trying to fling Anya from his back. He was more bewildered than fearful. He couldn’t fathom that two humans would take him on when he could maim them with one word. He grunted when Dawn hit him in the shins. "Back," he muttered and sent the young teen flying over the couch.
Anya moved her arm around his throat. Her chokehold would have dropped a normal human to the ground, but the warlock simply gagged and then dipped his shoulder and tossed her over his head onto the floor.
"You have spunk," he complimented.
"Spunk my ass!" Anya lunged forward and buried her teeth into his upper thigh near his crotch.
"Ah!" He kicked Anya, knocking her back a few feet. He looked down at his pants and saw a red stain slowly spreading down his thigh.
"Oh, yeah. I’ve still got it." Anya climbed to her feet and crouched down for another attack.
On the stairs, Tara closed her eyes as if the act of using her vision was too strenuous. She could feel her legs growing warm, and she knew what was causing it. Blood. She was bleeding. She was losing the child she and Willow created with their love. She pressed her hand to her belly and tears rolled from her closed eyes. "O dea acima e abaixo, montre de tudo que é verdadeiro, esta criança é feito exame errada. Retorne-a, retorne-a, retorne- àquelas que amam seu sobretudo outro. É minha vida, retorna-a." She exhaled a long, slow breath and her body went slack. There was no pain, no fear, only blissful darkness as Tara welcomed unconsciousness.
The front door burst open and Buffy charged into the room. Her Slayer’s keen senses quickly took note of every detail in the room. She saw Dawn, staggering to her feet, but mostly uninjured, Anya, in the middle of a cat fight with a warlock, and most disturbing, Tara crumpled near the stairs, pale and unmoving.
"Xander, get Tara," Buffy told her friend as she ran toward the warlock.
"Don’t you people ever give up?" Caedo asked. He flinched as a lamp hit him in the back of the head.
"No," Dawn said as she smiled, proud that her electronic projectile found its mark.
Buffy didn’t have time for banter. She pulled a stake out of her pocket and hurled it at the warlock. He twisted to sneer at Dawn, so the wooden weapon impaled his bicep instead of his chest.
Caedo howled in pain and rage. He saw the scrappy human named Anya eyeing his uninjured thigh and decided to cut his losses. He closed his eyes and disappeared.
Xander reached Tara and rested a hand on her throat. Tears filled his eyes even as he felt a weak pulse. "She’s alive," he said quietly. His eyes were locked on the spreading pool of blood under her thighs. "Oh, god, we need a doctor, now."
"Call 911," Buffy told Dawn. "Then call Doc Diana." She went to Tara and knelt beside her next to Xander. "Tara, open your eyes." She reached out and traced the blonde’s swollen cheek. The Slayer lifted her own shoulder and wiped her nose as she sniffled. "Come on, Tara, open your eyes." She wiped a smear of blood from Tara’s lip with a shaking hand.
"This is bad," Xander whispered. "This is really bad."
"We need to keep her warm." Anya grabbed a small blanket from the couch and ran to Tara. "Cover her up, damn it." Anya was holding back tears, but just barely. "We can’t let Cletus get cold."
Xander dropped his head and sobbed. Buffy reached over and pulled him into her arms as she stared down at Tara.
*****
Willow stared at Rack as she understood all that her uncontrollable anger had cost her. She had rushed into action before thinking through all possible angles, and now Tara was at the mercy of one of Rack’s henchmen.
"You’ll never have me." Willow spun and marched toward the wall. The amulet was protecting her, so she knew Tara and the baby were alive. The protective necklace only worked during a pregnancy, so she knew Rack was lying about Tara’s death. She squared her shoulders and quickened her pace. Tara was alive, but there was no telling for how long.
"You can’t walk out!" Rack sniveled. "Make me pay! I want to see your rage!"
"You will," she said as she crossed through the wall. If Tara and the baby were in trouble, Willow had to help them. Once they were safe, she’d deal with Rack. She stumbled as her feet hit the uneven surface of the alleyway.
"Willow!" Giles said with relief.
"Amy’s betrayed you," Spike said as he studied Willow’s eyes. "Blimey, you didn’t use dark magic," he added with a sense of awe.
"We have to get to Tara." Willow trotted down the alley toward the street.
"My car’s around the corner," Giles said. "We should hurry."
They rushed across town and arrived at Buffy’s house to find it empty. Panic set in as they gathered in the living room and looked at the damage. Furniture was overturned, and broken.
"No," Willow whispered. She ran to the staircase and looked down at a huge pool of blood.
"There’s at least two pints there," Spike observed. He inhaled. "Is someone pregnant?" he asked.
Willow looked up in horror.
"I can smell the hormones," he explained. "This blood’s full of ‘em."
"Tara…" Willow turned and looked around the room. She tried to calm her mind and logically figure out where to find the others.
"Hospital," Spike said as if reading her mind. He leaned down and picked up a piece of plastic and handed it to Willow.
She grabbed it and saw that it was a needle cover. She’d seen ones like it whenever she and the others made trips to the ER. She realized an ambulance must have been there recently.
"Let’s go," Giles said. There was only one hospital in Sunnydale, and he wanted to get there as quickly as possible. He hurried toward the door. "Willow, did Tara learn the ‘refero’ like Diana asked?" He didn’t want to panic the redhead, but he had to know.
"No," Willow said as she rushed after him. Her mind was racing so fast she couldn’t manage any coherent thought. She concentrated on following Giles, moving one foot after the other. ‘Just get to the car,’ she thought over and over. ‘Get to the car and then we’ll get to Tara. Brianna’s fine. She has to be.’
"Easy, Red." Spike steadied her with one hand while he opened her door with the other. He helped her into the car and then climbed in beside her and clumsily draped his arm around her and then squeezed her to his chest as she shook with worry and fear.
****
Willow didn’t remember the ride to the hospital, other than to notice that Giles broke every speed limit to get there. They pulled up at the ER and jumped out of the car, abandoning it at the curb as soon as they saw Buffy’s Jeep Cherokee in a space nearby.
The ER was full of people, most sitting in the chairs in the large community waiting area. Willow headed straight for small waiting area that was at the end of the hall. The Scoobies always gathered there when one of them needed stitches or had to have a limb x-rayed. With all the business the Scoobies provided, the room should have been renamed the "Slayer’s lounge."
"Willow!" Buffy leapt to her feet and ran to her best friend’s side. "Thank god you’re here. Did you get our message?"
"Message?" Willow paused. She hadn’t even thought to check the answering machine at home. "Where’s Tara? How’s the baby? Are they okay?"
"Doc Diana’s with her," Buffy said gently. "We haven’t heard anything yet."
Willow nodded as she suddenly felt numb. She noticed that Xander was on the couch with Anya resting across his lap. The former demon had an ice pack pressed to her cheek. "What happened to Anya?"
"The Scaldor demon," Dawn said. "We tried to fight it." She stood and went to Willow and began to cry. "We really did. It was just too strong." She took Willow’s hand and squeezed it, needing the redhead to forgive her.
"It’s okay, Dawnie," Willow said hollowly. She looked down at their interlaced hands and frowned at the raw marks on the teen’s wrists. "What happened?" She traced the edge of the injury.
"Amy tied us up," Dawn said bitterly.
Willow’s eyes narrowed as she added Amy’s name to the growing list of people she was going to destroy. "I’m sure you did everything you could," Willow offered lamely. All she wanted was to see Tara, or at least find out how she was.
"Little bit’s turning into quite the cool monster fighter," Spike said from the door.
"You can leave now, Spike," Giles said as he pushed past the vampire.
"I did okay," Dawn said sadly.
"I should be on my way," Spike said as he watched Giles glaring at him from across the tiny space.
"You can at least stay to hear…" Buffy’s voice trailed off and she swallowed with an audible gulp. She had almost said, ‘until we hear if Tara made it,’ but she stopped herself. "Until we hear Dawn’s tale of heroic warlock bashing," she quickly said.
"Anya was great," Dawn said proudly. "She jumped on his back and choked him, and she bit him in the crotch."
Willow allowed a tiny hint of a smile. She looked over and caught Xander’s attention. He looked up briefly and shrugged as if to say, ‘That’s my Anya, always goes for the heart of the matter.’ He reached down and combed his fingers through Anya’s hair.
"Any word?" Anya asked groggily. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him hopefully.
"No, just rest," he said gently. "You’ve had a rough day."
Anya sat up when she saw Willow. "I’m sorry I don’t have my powers. I could have killed him instantly." She frowned. "Well, I wouldn’t have done it instantly. I’d have made that bastard suffer."
"Thanks, Anya." Willow paced the small room. She jerked her head toward the door every time she heard approaching footsteps, but Doctor Diana never appeared.
"What happened with Rack?" Buffy asked.
"He wanted me to be his new dealer," Willow said quietly. "Guess he thought I’d be good at luring other witches into addiction."
"And?" Buffy asked.
"I said no!" Willow’s anger flashed instantly. She’d fought so hard to resist temptation and the thought that her best friend had no faith in her cut like dull blade, leaving a jagged, painful wound.
"Of course you did," Buffy said gently. "I meant, is he still alive?"
"Oh," Willow said a bit guiltily. "Yeah, I had to go find Tara." She lifted her head and caught Buffy’s eyes. "He won’t get away with this."
"No, he won’t." Buffy’s eyes were hard and devoid of any sign of mercy.
Giles nodded as his eyes darkened to match his Slayer’s.
Willow continued pacing. She was going stir crazy waiting for news. After almost 45 minutes, Willow sat and leaned her elbows onto her knees. Of course, that was the moment Cassie chose to gently tap on the side of the open door.
"Willow?" Cassie said quietly.
"How is she?" Willow was on her feet and at Cassie’s side in one leap.
The others all stood and crowded closer.
"Tara’s in surgery to control the bleeding," Cassie said quietly. "We’ve given her six pints of blood already, but she losing it as fast as we can give it to her."
Willow inhaled sharply and felt her knees bow. Giles wrapped an arm around her waist and steadied her.
"But you’re replacing it, so she’s safe?" Giles asked.
"We’re keeping her blood volume up," Cassie corrected. "Diana’s trying to stop the hemorrhaging right now. She ruptured her spleen and her uterus is still bleeding."
"You have to save the baby," Willow said as she grabbed Cassie’s hand. "It’ll kill Tara if we lose the baby." She didn’t have to add that it would break her own heart as well.
"Willow…" Cassie said slowly. She took a deep breath and rubbed the side of her face. "Sweetie, she already lost the baby. Diana’s just trying to save Tara right now."
Willow’s legs gave out and Giles led her to the nearest chair. The redhead hadn’t passed out, but by the chalky appearance of her face, that would come soon.
"It’s all my fault," Willow whispered as she leaned forward and buried her hands in her face.
Spike’s eyes narrowed and his face morphed without him even realizing what had happened.
Cassie saw the change and jumped away from him.
"Spike, your game face is on," Buffy rested her hand on his chest and gave him a gentle squeeze. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Bloody hell," he said as his face returned to normal. He swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "It’s not fair. Tara’s never hurt anyone."
"You’re crying," Buffy said in shock.
"Am not." He pulled back, but Buffy held him close.
"Are too," she said as she rested her face on his chest and relaxed into his embrace in front of her friends for the first time since they had begun their of again on again romance.
"Can you save Tara?" Willow asked as she lifted her tear stained face. She raised an eyebrow at the sight of Buffy with Spike, and then realized with all the things in her world, it really didn’t matter.
"I don’t know," Cassie said. Her eyes betrayed her. The seer’s eyes said, ‘no.’ She looked at Spike and wondered what the story was behind a Slayer hugging a vampire.
"Will this help?" Willow reached into her blouse and pulled out the amulet that had save her life, and probably her very soul. She removed it and handed it to Cassie.
"It can’t hurt," Cassie said as she took the amulet and then stepped back. "I’ll see that Tara’s gets this."
Anya burst into tears and fell into Xander’s arms. He held her, his expression stoney, but his jaw shook.
Dawn covered her mouth with both hands and shook her head, as if she could make reality go away if she just kept denying it long enough.
"I’m so sorry for your loss," Cassie said gently.
Willow nodded and stared at the carpet. She wondered who designed the red and blue checked pattern. It was ugly, and it didn’t match the rest of the hospital. Tara would hate the use of primary colors. The blonde witch preferred pastels. ‘Tara … someone has to tell Tara she’d lost the baby,’ Willow thought as she hiccuped and a fresh wave of tears hit and her chest shook with sobs. ‘I can’t do this. I can’t break Tara’s heart again.’
A nurse came running up to Cassie and yanked her arm. "We need you. That patient’s throwing clots. Doctor White wants a fluoroscope of her cardio-pulmonary system, stat."
"Damn it," Cassie said as she spun and sprinted down the hall.
Willow watched in morbid fascination. Apparently she wasn’t the only one whose loved one was fighting the specter of death. "I hope it works out," she said quietly. "Whoever it is."
Giles cleared his throat. "Diana’s last name is White." He caught Willow’s gaze. "She’s operating on Tara."
CHAPTER TWENTY
Willow’s entire world stopped spinning. She slumped against the back of her chair and let out a breath in a whoosh of air. Her vision narrowed and she couldn’t hear anything other than the sound of her own heart, and that surprised her because she couldn’t believe a broken heart could still beat so steadily.
"Tara’s strong," Giles said as he knelt in front of Willow. "She’ll fight. She won’t give up what you two have." He rested a hand on her knee. "She loves you too much."
"Willow, I’m sorry," Buffy said as she pushed past Spike. She dropped to her knees and hugged her best friend. "I should have killed him like Anya said." She let out a muted sob.
With one sob from Buffy, Willow’s floodgates opened. She sobbed as Buffy rocked her, she sobbed as Buffy moved to the couch beside her and held her, and she continued sobbing as the others filtered out of the room one by one.
When Willow felt like she had no tears left, she still clung to Buffy. "How do I tell her?" she asked hoarsely.
"You just do," Buffy whispered. Her mind flashed back to the day she had told Dawn about their mother’s death. "Just tell her and then hold her," she added.
They broke apart when the others returned. Dawn was in shock. She shuffled her feet as she went over to a chair and collapsed into it. Xander guided Anya to a second couch and sat next to her. The former demon had been crying, and she kept starting to speak, but would stop herself before any words escaped.
"Hey," Xander said as he waved at Willow.
"Hey," Willow said with a sniffle and a forced half smile that faded as soon as she stopped actively trying to cheer him up.
"I have to patrol," Buffy said abruptly. She stood and bolted from the room before anyone could comment.
"We have to stop her." Willow stared after her friend and frowned. "She’s going after him."
"What?" Spike spun and chased after the Slayer.
"Good to see you’re letting calmer heads prevail." Giles leaned down and patted her leg and then stood so he could sit next to her. "We will formulate a plan, but not until we’re at full force, perhaps bring in some reinforcements—"
"He’s mine," Willow said, cutting him off. "As soon as Tara’s okay, I’m going after him." Her eyes brimmed with tears and her jaw ached from clenching it.
"That’s a profoundly stupid idea," Giles chastised. "What will you tell Tara?"
"That I avenged our daughter," Willow said firmly.
"That’ll be a comfort … when you’re dead!" Xander yelled.
"What am I supposed to do?" Willow cried. She lost all control and began babbling as tears flowed unchecked. "I’m a horrible mother, a horrible partner. I left Tara alone … and Brianna was murdered! I couldn’t even take care of a cat." She jumped to her feet and paced. "We gave Miss Kitty to one of our friends because she freaked out after Glory ripped the wall off. We aren’t safe parents for a cat! How am I supposed to raise a child? I’m not a grown up. I couldn’t do it! The job they offered me only paid 120,000 a year. How could I pay for a baby and her college fund with that? I would have been an awful mother. It’s all my fault. I used dark magic. It’s no wonder the goddess let this happen!"
Giles stood as Willow took several gulps of air and began babble round two.
"Tara’s gonna’ hate me. We lost Brianna because I didn’t deserve her…"
Giles slapped Willow across the face. "Shut your mouth." He blinked back tears. "I don’t want to hear you ever speak like that again, or I’ll put you over my knee."
"And not in the good way, either," Anya said with a sniffle.
"This was a tragedy, granted a supernatural one, but you will not defile what this child was." Giles looked down at Willow. "She was a miracle, created by love. Don’t you dare soil that by suggesting there was any reason for her death other than that dreadful dealer’s depravity!"
"You made him so mad he’s using poetic repetition of sound. ‘Dreadful dealer’s depravity.’ That’s just wrong." Anya stood and pulled Xander to his feet. "Let’s go find food before he starts with the rhyming couplets."
"I think Willow needs us here," Xander argued. His eyes were red and swollen. He reached out and squeezed Willow’s shoulder. "Will?"
"Go forage," Willow said quietly.
Giles watched Xander and Anya leave with Dawn rushing after them. He turned and pinned Willow in his paternal gaze. "Willow, you can’t honestly believe any of that drivel, can you?"
"I was supposed to keep her safe," Willow said hollowly. "Rack killed our child, and I just walked away from him. I didn’t even raise a hand to him." She looked down at the floor.
"And I thank the lord you didn’t." Giles sighed and took off his glasses. "Willow, if you’d given in to that rage, we would have lost you as well."
"Maybe I’d be with her," she answered in a tiny voice. She lifted her head. Her expression was crestfallen. "Is she alone? Is she afraid? Does she understand?"
"Tara’s under anesthetic," Giles said with infinite tenderness. "But she’s never alone. She has your love."
"I mean Brianna." Willow voice cracked. "Giles, she’s so tiny. I don’t want her to be alone and afraid."
"She’s gone, Willow." He caressed her cheek. "She’s in a better place. How could she not be?" He smiled sadly. "We’re suffering her loss, but I’m quite sure she’s not in any pain."
"How do you know?" Willow looked like a lost child. Her lower lip quivered.
"I just do." He hugged her and held her while she sobbed. He would never tell her that he suspected she and Tara were paying the price for bringing Buffy back from the dead.
*****
Three hours later, Willow was sleeping on the couch with her head on Dawn’s lap. The teen watched Willow sleep and was happy that she could offer some measure of comfort to the redheaded witch. Willow and Tara had taken Dawn in after Joyce’s death, and then Buffy’s. Now the teen was determined to return the favor.
The others had left to get coffee, giving Willow some much-needed rest. She was exhausted from her battle with Rack and she’d finally agreed to lie down for a few minutes. Xander was the first to wander back.
"Shh," Dawn hissed when Xander came into the room.
"She okay?" he asked quietly.
"She finally went to sleep." Dawn pushed a stray hair off Willow’s face. "Any word yet?"
Xander shook his head.
Dawn’s eyes widened as she looked over his shoulder.
He turned and then backed away when he saw Doctor Diana. "Willow," he whispered as he pointed at the witch. "Sleeping."
Diana nodded as she sidestepped past him.
"Willow, wake up," Dawn whispered. She pressed her hand onto the sleeping witch’s shoulder.
"Tara!" Willow sat up blinking her eyes. She looked at Dawn and then her eyes met Diana’s. "How is she?" Willow jumped up and stumbled to the doctor.
"She’s alive," Diana said as she guided Willow to the couch. She looked at Dawn and cleared her throat. "Can you leave us alone?"
The teen paused and then hurried out of the room.
"Is she awake?" Willow asked.
"Not yet," Diana said. "I’ll take you to the recovery room, but we should talk first." She eyed Xander.
"Will?" he asked.
Willow held out her hand and Xander rushed to her side and sat. She gripped his hand like a vice as she studied Diana’s tired eyes.
"How is she?" Willow asked, terrified to hear the answer.
"She’s stable, sweetie." Diana smiled, but her eyes had no sparkle.
"But?" Willow prompted.
"We took out her spleen," Diana began. "I assisted," she explained. "Doctor Carlson is the best surgeon in the area. He did a really good job."
Willow nodded.
"She had a lot of hemorrhaging, but we stopped it." Diana rubbed the back of her neck. She’d been in surgery assisting the entire time and was dead on her feet. "We saved her uterus. She should be able to have more children if everything goes well during recovery."
"Thank the goddess," Willow whispered. It was a small consolation, but she knew Tara would make a wonderful mother. She frowned. "Wait, when Cassie … that nurse mentioned clots."
"Yeah, what’s with the clots?" Xander asked.
"Some clots broke loose," Diana explained. "Her heartbeat became erratic and we were worried about a clot getting to her lungs or her brain, but she’s okay now."
"How?" Willow asked. "What did you do?"
"A tiny filter," Diana said with a smile. "We inserted it into an artery, and the filter will catch the clots. She’s on blood thinners right now, but we’ll take her off them in 24 hours and remove the filter."
"What about her incisions?" Willow asked. "With her blood thin?"
"There’s some leakage, but right now we’re more concerned with the clotting." Diana sighed and looked down at her feet.
"What?" Xander asked. He could tell the doctor was upset. "What’s wrong?"
"She’s not responding," Diana said.
"These clots, they can cause strokes, right?" Willow felt her stomach churn.
"Yeah, but I don’t think that’s the problem." Diana took Willow’s hand. "Cassie was in the OR. She’s the best ultrasound and x-ray tech in the state. Cass was monitoring Tara’s major arteries and she’s pretty sure Tara didn’t throw a clot to her brain."
"Then what’s wrong?" Willow asked forlornly.
"It’s mystical," Diana said. "Cassie can’t get a reading on her."
"Because she’s worried," Willow said. She knew the seer could lose focus when she was concerned.
"Tara doesn’t have an aura anymore." Diana waited for Willow to take in the statement. "Willow, I think she’s left this plane."
"Whoa," Xander interrupted. "No. No way. That’s like dead. Tara is not dead."
"No, she’s not dead," Diana said firmly. "We just need to make sure she comes back from wherever she is." The doctor looked into Willow’s eyes. "I’m gonna’ need your help for this."
"Let’s do it," Willow started to stand but Diana stopped her. "What?" she asked.
"I’m really sorry," Diana said. "I wish Cassie had been wrong."
"I keep telling myself it’s meant to be." Willow closed her eyes as new tears welled up. "But I can’t believe it." She opened her eyes. "How do I tell Tara our daughter’s gone and isn’t coming back?"
"Let’s focus on getting Tara back first, okay?" Diana stood and offered her hand to Willow.
"What do I have to do?" Willow held the doctor’s hand as they made their way through the hallway.
"Tara is on another plane," Diana said. "You have to go after her."
"Oh," Willow squeaked. "Is that all?"
*****
The cemeteries in Sunnydale were swept clean of vampires. In fact, Buffy had slaughtered every vampire and demon within two blocks of all the cemeteries and she was about to get started on lawyers and other human nuisances.
"Well, still need to burn off some energy?" Spike asked as he leaned against a headstone. "Kinda’ giving the undead a run for their money tonight."
"Maybe you should leave," Buffy lashed out. "My stake fingers are a little itchy and you’re looking like a nice place to put one."
"A finger?" he taunted. He knew she was hurting over the loss of Tara’s child. He was hurting over it too, and he’d only learned about it a few hours earlier.
"My stake." Buffy threw a stake at him, but it was a halfhearted throw.
"Losing your edge." He caught the stake a twirled it. "You wanna’ talk about it?"
"I wanna’ kill things." Buffy paced back and forth in front of him.
"Like a certain warlock?" he prompted. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag. "You don’t have the mojo to take on his likes."
"So who does?" Buffy asked.
"Willow, when she’s all big with the dark magic eyes." Spike studied his cigarette. "But that’s just inviting trouble." He looked over at Buffy. "There are guys, guys who could do the job, but owing them would be worse than turning big bad Willow loose."
"There has to be a way," Buffy said with a growl. "He can’t just get away with this."
"What about Tara?" he asked quietly.
"I called. She’s outa’ surgery." Buffy sat on a headstone and swung her feet.
"No," he said as he looked across the stretch of neatly trimmed grass and caught Buffy’s eyes. "She’s got power, real power."
"Tara?" Buffy crinkled her brow. "No, Willow’s way more powerful than Tara. Plus, Tara would never use dark magic."
Spike jumped down from the headstone and walked over to Buffy. "You’re wrong. Goldiewitch has real power." He flicked his cigarette butt into the air and locked eyes with Buffy. "There’s power in the dark arts, but when light magic is truly harnessed, it’s down right scary."
"Tara’s not scary," Buffy insisted.
"It’s in her," Spike said deliberately, stressing each word. "Hormones weren’t the only things filling her blood."
Buffy cringed, giving him a truly disgusted look.
"It’s blood. It’s my business." He looked away shamefully. "If I’d ever smelled blood with power like hers, I’m not sure what I would have done."
"Meaning?" Buffy hopped down and spun him to face her.
"Meaning … I’d want to taste that power, drain her on the spot, but I don’t think I would." He bent down so his eyes were level with hers. "My self-preservation instincts would override that impulse. I’d run straight for the hills."
"She’s that powerful?"
"She’s that bloody scary," Spike corrected.
"A mage?" Buffy asked, remembering the conversation in Diana’s office.
"She’s too young to be a mage, but yeah, like that." His brow was creased in confusion.
"Well, Tara’s not the type to be scary." The matter was closed. "She’s too shy to cast spells in front of us. Heck, she’ll barely hold Willow’s hand in public. I can’t see her going all witchy superpowers on us."
"Maybe you’re right." He nodded behind her toward a fresh grave. "New one, on the left. ‘Bout to rise."
"Well, let’s give him a warm welcome." She gripped her stake and trotted toward the grave.
*****
Tara’s room was filled with loud machines that were beeping and humming. The blonde witch had wires and tubes hanging from poles on each side, and her face was partially obscured by a strip of tape holding her oxygen cannula in her nose.
"Oh, goddess, Tara." Willow felt like someone had just hit her in the chest with a wrecking ball. Seeing Tara tangled in the web of wires and tubes made the blonde look small and fragile. As Willow moved closer she could see the bruises on her lover’s face. "Baby, I’m here," she whispered as she reached for Tara’s hand. She paused, staring at the scrapes and bruises on Tara’s knuckles and the IV in the back of her hand.
"It’s okay to touch her," Diana said gently. "You won’t hurt her."
Willow cautiously slid her hand under Tara’s swollen fingers. She gingerly wrapped her fingers around Tara’s palm and then leaned down next to the blonde’s ear. "I’m here, love." She kissed Tara’s cheek. "You’re safe, and I’m not leaving ‘til you wake up."
"Speak of which…" Diana made sure the door was closed and then went to the other side of the bed. "We need to get her back."
Willow nodded, but her eyes never left Tara’s face. She reached down and traced a crescent shaped bruise on Tara’s cheek.
"Have you ever done any astral traveling?" Diana reached into her white lab coat and took a vial out of her pocket. It was full of amber colored oil. She worked off the cork stopper and dabbed some onto her finger. "Ever done any inner journeys?" She dotted Tara’s forehead and cheeks with the oil.
"I went on the astral plane once to check on Buffy’s soul. A skank we know swapped bodies with her," Willow said casually. "And Buffy kinda’ had a mental snap when Dawn was kidnapped by a hell god. I went into her mind to fetch her … Buffy, not Dawn." She leaned down and pressed her lips to the back of Tara’s hand next to the IV. She looked up at Diana and smiled.
The doctor’s mouth was hanging open in shock.
"Hanging out with the Slayer makes life interesting," Willow said with a wry smirk.
"You should be well-prepared for this." Diana went to Willow’s side of the bed and anointed her with the oil as she had done with Tara. "Okay, now it’s up to you." She nodded at Tara. "I’ve used the oil to link your bodies and minds. Now you just have to go into a meditative state and find Tara."
"You say that like it’s easy." Willow knew better. She knew it would take intense concentration to pull off the task at hand. When she had gone into Buffy’s mind, it had been exhausting. Buffy’s mind was on the human realm. There was no telling how far Tara’s essence had drifted.
"It won’t be easy." Diana rested a hand on Willow’s shoulder. "But I’ll be here, offering my energy to keep you anchored." She slid a chair over to the bed and waited for Willow to sit before getting a second chair for herself at Willow’s side.
"And that’ll be enough?" Willow glanced back at Tara. The blonde was pale and her chest rose and fell in tiny erratic bursts. "We don’t have much time, do we?"
"It will be enough," Diana said. "And no, we don’t have much time." She nodded at the door. "Tara’s nurse is a Wiccan. She’s gonna’ keep everyone out. Cassie’s doing an emergency CAT scan, but she’ll come as soon as she’s done."
"Never hurts to have back up," Willow commented.
"You won’t need it." Diana smiled. "You’ll do great."
"I have to get her back," Willow whispered.
"Just convince her to come back to you. That should be easy." Diana smiled.
Willow nodded, but doubt clouded her mind. If Tara was somehow with Brianna’s spirit, she wasn’t sure she could lure the blonde back. Worse yet, she wasn’t sure she’d want to come back herself.
*****
Anya had been much more quiet than usual, and that worried Xander. He brought her several kinds of food, sodas, coffee, and even a canned milkshake from a vending machine, but the former demon just shook her head.
"An, you should eat something." Xander held up a canned milkshake. "Look, can o’ milkshake." He shook the can from side to side, making it do a little can dance. "Don’t you have some comment about frozen beverages not being designed to go into cans in lukewarm vending machines?"
"I can’t talk about money taking machines right now," Anya said quietly. She looked up and sighed. Her lip quivered.
"I know you don’t understand this whole death thing," Xander said as he put the can on the table in front of her. "We don’t either." He remembered how difficult Joyce’s death had been on Anya. "I’m here for you." He sat next to her and smiled warmly.
"I understand with Joyce," Anya said shakily. "Kind of … well, a little." She sniffled as tears hung suspended at the edges of her eyes. "Joyce had a good life. She saw things, did things." The tears breached the edges of her eyes and her voice squeaked as her throat ached. "Cletus never got to see anything. It’s just wrong, Xander. Tara and Willow loved her so much and they’ll never get to meet her, ever. I’ll never get to hold her." She turned toward Xander. " I wanted to hold her and smell that baby smell people talk about and I wanted to see her walk and talk, and I wanted to teach her things. I was gonna’ teach her inappropriate words and gestures and she was gonna’ make Willow and Tara crazy and now she’s gone."
"Shh…" Xander pulled Anya into his arms and rubbed her back as she cried. He knew without a doubt, he wanted to have children with Anya. She’d teach them horrible things, but she’d love them ferociously and they’d always have fun.
"Why, Xander?" Anya asked. She always asked the whys and hows of humanity, but this time, he had no answer. "Why did the universe let a tiny baby die? Why didn’t Tara learn that damn spell? Why didn’t someone make her learn it?"
"There are no answers. I’m sorry." He held her and let his own tears fall.
"She did a spell," Dawn said from the door. "I saw her, at the house."
"What?" Anya pulled away from Xander. "What did she say?"
"I couldn’t hear her, but when we were fighting that warlock, she was saying something." Dawn went to the chair across from Anya. "I was kinda’ busy trying to beam that warlock demon guy with the lamp, but I could tell she was casting a spell."
"Was it that returno spell?" Xander asked.
"I couldn’t hear," Dawn said testily. "She was mumbling, but she had that glow to her face she gets when she casts."
"Like after an orgasm!" Anya chimed in. "I’ve seen her get it at the shop."
"Okay … you’ve seen Tara have orgasms at the shop? Where was I?" Xander suddenly decided he was in the wrong business. "None of my construction friends ever have orgasm at work." He shivered. "Not that I’d want to see it if they did."
"She means spells," Dawn pointed out. "Tara does spells at the shop," she said as if he were a complete moron. "Although, before they broke up…"
"Do not finish that sentence," Xander ordered. "I don’t want to think about non-spell ‘spells’ at the shop."
"Forget the orgasms, get back to the refero spell," Anya said harshly.
"You just said ‘forget the orgasms.’ O-kay, who are you and what have you done with Anya?" Xander said with a tiny smile.
"Xander," Anya whined. She looked at Dawn hopefully. "Are you sure she was casting?"
"Yes," Dawn said firmly.
"Maybe we can get Cletus back," Anya said happily.
"Whoa, no more resurrections, remember the new rules?" Xander held up one finger. "No trolls in the shop…" He flicked up a second finger. "No parking with vampires." He frowned and thought about Spike and Buffy’s relatio— whatever. "Okay, no Dawn parking with vampires." He lifted a third finger. "And no bringing anyone back from the dead."
"It’s not a resurrection." Anya rolled her eyes. "The ‘refero’ will let Tara and Willow have Cletus later."
"The same soul, in a new body," Dawn clarified.
"How do you know about this stuff?" Xander gaped at Dawn. "Aren’t there age restrictions on any of these spell books?"
"I researched it," Dawn said. "I heard Willow and Buffy talking. They were both scared and I figured if I looked up the spell, maybe I could convince Tara to learn it after she calmed down."
"Only she didn’t get the chance to calm down before that Scaldor demon came after her," Anya explained. She frowned. "So where did she learn it?"
"And when?" Xander asked.
"I don’t care as long as the baby comes back," Dawn said.
*****
Willow closed her eyes and tried to block out the sounds in the room. It was difficult, especially when the high pitched beeping was the sound of Tara’s heartbeat.
‘Inhale, draw in relaxing energy,’ Willow thought. ‘Exhale all tension.’ She kept her hand on Tara’s arm as she continued to clear her mind. It was difficult when there was so much weighing on her. Every time she felt her mind shifting toward a meditative state, she would think of Tara in pain or of Brianna.
"Let go," Diana said as she began massaging Willow’s shoulders. "Go to her. She’s waiting for you, Willow." She felt the tension disappearing with each stroke of her thumb over the rigid muscle. "Go to your love," she whispered in the redhead’s ear.
Everything was white and fluffy. Willow furrowed her brow as she pushed through the cloud-like atmosphere. "Tara?" Willow called out. Her voice echoed and she jumped at the sound. She stopped and inhaled deeply, trying to deepen her meditative state. The clouds thinned and Willow could see a green haze in the distance. She walked toward it and suddenly she stepped out of the clouds onto a lush meadow.
"Wow," Willow said. She looked up into a perfect blue sky dotted with fluffy, cotton candy clouds. "Tara?" she asked again. She wandered toward a stand of trees. She knew Tara loved to sit under the tallest trees she could find and stare up the trunk. Tara had explained that it was like looking up God’s legs, though that had led to a rather disturbing discussion of what the tree limbs were.
Willow took a few steps toward the trees when she heard something soft and melodic behind her. She turned and saw a small cabin nestled at the edge of a lake.
"Shoulda’ known Tara would be camped out in the woods," she said with a smile. She wandered toward the cabin. As she got to the back of the cabin she could make out the sound of Tara humming. She’d know her lover’s voice anywhere, even when she was only humming. She rounded the corner and turned to see Tara sitting on a rocking chair on the grass. The sun was bathing Tara in its golden rays and her hair looked like spun gold. Willow took another step forward, but then froze. Tara was gazing down at a redheaded baby suckling at her breast.
"Brianna?" Willow’s voice broke.
"Willow?" Tara lifted her head and smiled radiantly. "What took you so long, darling?" She cradled Brianna in one arm and held out her free hand to Willow.
Willow staggered forward and dropped her knees at Tara’s side. She reached up and touched Brianna’s silky hair, cupping her tiny head in one palm. She gasped when Tara nudged the baby loose and turned her toward Willow. "She’s so beautiful," Willow said in awe.
Brianna frowned and kicked her feet. She wasn’t happy to have her meal interrupted.
"She takes after you," Tara said fondly. "A complete and total breast girl." She tilted the baby to her chest and helped Brianna go back to her snack.
Willow snorted a laugh even as she felt tears on her cheeks. "She has your eyes." Willow looked up at Tara and beamed at her lover. "And your pout," she added with a smirk.
"And your temper." Tara nodded toward Brianna’s tiny feet. She was still kicking, perturbed that her mothers had dared to interrupt her meal.
Willow watched Tara feeding their child for a few minutes. She was fascinated by the simple act. Tara was rocking slightly as she hummed, and her face was radiant as she looked down at the child.
"Didn’t you come here for a reason?" A woman asked from behind Willow.
"Who?" Willow spun, falling onto her butt on the warm grass. "Oh, my god, you’re Tara’s mother!"
"And Brianna’s grandmother." The tall, lanky blonde moved forward and smiled the familiar half-grin Willow loved seeing Tara use. "Guess that makes me your mother-in-law."
"I…" Willow stared at the woman who was so different from Tara and yet had so many of the same features. "You…"
"I believe you had a purpose?" Tara’s mother raised one blonde eyebrow.
"Yeah…" Willow turned to Tara. "Honey, as wonderful as this all is…" She waved her hand at the beautiful landscape and then pointed down at their child. "We have to go back." Willow’s heart clenched painfully as she studied Brianna. "Well, we have to leave … soon." She pressed her lips to her daughter’s head and smiled.
Tara’s mother cleared her throat. It sounded exactly like Tara when she was losing her patience.
"I mean, we have to go back … now." Willow rested her hand over Tara’s.
Tara smiled and tilted her head to one side. Her eyes were full of love. "Willow … darling, I’m not going back." Tara shifted Brianna in her arms and began humming again.
End Part Ten